As soon as the trailer for “Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens” hit the internet last week, fans began examining the first look frame by frame, including Stephen Colbert, who claims to be the first person to ever fall in love with the film franchise.
“I am the original fan of ‘Star Wars,'” Colbert told his audience, explaining that while in the eighth grade in 1977, he won a radio contest to see the first film two weeks in advance of its wide release in theaters.
Colbert loved what he saw but because none of his classmates had seen the movie yet, he had no one to geek out with over how awesome the story was.
“They thought my Darth Vader impression was just asthma,” Colbert said.
Of course, Colbert was just as excited to see the release of Episode VII’s trailer but has a bone to pick with anyone who doubts the science behind the new three-pronged lightsaber.
Some have suggested online that such a light sword would not work, arguing that the two mini lightsabers in the handle of the weapon would be easily chopped off if engaged in battle.
No, no says Colbert.
“The metal hilts are just casings around the little beams to protect your hand,” he said, explaining that the two mini beams are from the same refracted light as the main beam. “Even if someone slices through the metal, they’re going to hit the beam right there. Any Padawan knows that.”
Colbert even got out his whiteboard to diagram how such a lightsaber would work.
“It’s a light saber with two mini light sabers on it. It’s a ménage a sabre,” Colbert said.
Watch video from “The Colbert Report” here.