‘Survivor’ is Tougher Than Rocket Science

Hint: Don’t ever let Russell tell you a secret

Last Updated: December 4, 2009 @ 8:32 AM

It’s night 27 at camp, and the first word out of Shambo’s mouth is "Medusa" (referring to Laura). John explains to the camera why he switched his vote to Laura last episode. Monica is calling John the Judas of Galu and hopes he will go home.
Day 28 dawns and there’s tree mail. It’s time for the Survivor food auction and each member of the tribe has received money to buy whatever Jeff has to offer.

First item is the PB&J sandwich, and Natalie bids $200 right away. Next item goes to Shambo for $240 — and she gets the booby prize of sea noodles (slug guts) sprinkled with Parmesan. Somehow, Shambo seems to enjoy her meal.

The tribe is hoping that the producers won’t go with back-to-back zingers, and Monica is right and purchases a whole cooked chicken for $340. Next item is a big advantage in the immunity challenge, and Jaison goes for broke and bids all $500 of his money for it.

Next item is a cheeseburger, fries and a cold beer, which Mick bids all of his cash on. Next? A clue to the location of the immunity idol. John takes it.

Up next is a shower complete with shampoo and clean underwear. Natalie jumps in the shower and cheesy porn music plays. A slice of apple pie is up next, and John pays $300 for it, but Monty Hall shows up (at least he did on my TV screen) and offers John the option to purchase a whole pie for the rest of the group. John selfishly chooses the single piece of pie, and the auction is over.

After commercial, John finds a private location and reads the clue to the immunity idol. He spends some time looking but can’t find it, and wonders if Russell has already unearthed it.

Shambo apologizes to the chickens for what they’re about to do (eat them), but in the next minute she’s seen cooking them. Dave saunters in and tries to tell Shambo how to boil a chicken. Shambo ain’t havin’ it and tells him to shut up. “He has no idea who he’s picking a fight with today,” she says. We’re then treated to a creepy black and white nightmare sequence with quick cuts of Shambo, the chicken, the moon, a crab, Dave sleeping and … wow that was disturbing.

Immunity challenge time. It’s an endurance challenge to see who can hold on to a weighted log. Jaison’s "advantage" is that he’s is allowed to move his hands up two rungs of rope, lessening the weight of the logs. Each three minutes they must change hands. It is hot out. Jaison uses his advantage early and moves up two rungs immeidately.

Nobody seems to be giving up, and we’re 21 minutes in. Shambo is first out and falls down, hard. Russell is out next. They are now literally at the end of their ropes and do not have a knot to hang on to.

Monica is out. John is out. Brent and Mick drop out and it’s Natalie, Dave and Jaison. Natalie can’t hang in and we’re down to Jaison and Dave. Just when it looks like Jaison is about to let go, Dave falters and Jaison wins immunity. “Finally I won something,” he says.

Mick tells the camera that Dave is on his way out. John and Russell are strategizing about their alliance and they appear to be getting along. Russell admits to him that he has the idol, but then regrets it; he tells the camera that he now must get rid of John. He approaches Dave and tells him that he’s on the chopping block, and puts forth a plan to get rid of John. Russell now goes to work on Mick, and Mick also seems to be on board. Mick approaches Jaison and they strategize, but Jaison isn’t too thrilled with the John plan.

Time for tribal…

The three jury members enter and Laura is all frowns (plus she needs a lesson in applying makeup, my wife says). Shambo is shocked about people strategizing and Jeff is flabbergasted at this. Dave says he’s been honest and kind with Shambo and as he’s talking, she scratches her face with her middle finger, essentially flipping him the bird; the CBS censors appear to have missed it.

It is time to vote … will the blindsides continue?

We see: Shambo is voting Dave, John is voting Mick and Dave is voting for John. The votes are read and a shocked John is going home. Shambo is totally flustered while Laura is happy with the turn of events.

Erik, for the second week in a row, is beside himself with glee.

Mark Stone is a freelance entertainment writer living in Kelowna, BC, Canada. He is the managing editor of DailyBrainCandy.com and author of "Behind the Screen: Hacking Hollywood."