It’s that time of year – the time when spiderwebs and bats are hanging from the corner of your dentist’s office and you can’t turn on the radio without hearing “Monster Mash” or “Thriller.” And that’s okay. It’s spooky season and we are here of it.
One part of Halloween-time that we always look forward to is Halloween Horror Nights, the annual event at Universal Studios Hollywood. The annual event, which runs through Nov. 2, is an absolute blast. If you’ve never done it – or if you haven’t done it this year – it’s time to correct that mistake.
We recently visited Universal Studios Hollywood and did all of the haunted houses. Not included here – the Terror Tram, this year themed to Blumhouse/Universal properties like “The Purge,” “M3GAN” and “The Black Phone;” The Purge – Dangerous Waters, a water show that takes place in the Waterworld arena (it rules); and the various “scare zones,” which are loosely themed areas in between haunted houses where scare-actors roam around and spook you.
We will be running down every haunted house, from our least to most favorite, and will try to steer clear of major spoilers. Because the only thing scarier than a chainsaw-wielding clown is giving away a particularly shocking scare from an HHN house.
8. Terrifier
Art the Clown, the black-and-white menace from the “Terrifier” film franchise, is the unofficial mascot of this year’s Halloween Horror Nights. He was everywhere – interacting with guests, bothering while you were shopping or trying to buy food and anchoring his own HHN house. The house itself was singularly unpleasant – one of the scenes was horrifyingly misogynist, there’s a part where you go through a bathroom that smells like poo and at one point are confronted by a giant Art the Clown head. If the films are not for you, then this house shouldn’t be either.
7. Poltergeist
We love it when a house returns from a previous season. But this house, based on Tobe Hooper and Steven Spielberg’s 1982 masterpiece “Poltergeist,” felt like a last-minute replacement for something else. The highlights from when the maze first appeared in 2018 are still there, like the giant, willowy creature, but when we walked through a number of the effects simply weren’t working and there were way too many black hallways. It was still cool to be in the house from “Poltergeist,” and we love the property so much, but maybe next time they can add new rooms and effects to make it feel scarily fresh.
6. WWE: The Horror of Wyatt Sicks
This house was utterly mystifying. It was still very cool and scary. But the story and lore were befuddling and took some Googling afterward to understand just what the house was getting at. Long story short: there was a WWE wrestler named Bray Wyatt, who died in 2023 at the age of 36 from a heart attack related to COVID. The Wyatt Sicks are a wrestling team that was developed following his death and based on characters he created (???) They are a bunch of guys with big beards who are dressed in animal costumes and have a vaguely Louisiana/Creole vibe. It would have been scarier if you weren’t constantly wondering who these guys are and what their deal is.
5. Scarecrow: Music by Slash
Again: had no idea what the story was here, but it seemed like a post-apocalyptic landscape where terrifying scarecrows ruled the land. There was a house called Scarecrow: The Reaping in 2022. Is this the same house? It’s unclear. And is it connected to the scare zone with all the crows (including a cute baby crow)? Also unclear. But the music, by Guns ‘n Roses guitarist and HHN mainstay Slash, is terrific. And it is genuinely creepy. There’s also a Slash-themed bar, with a giant Slash-on-stilts, over by the Jurassic World ride (which is open during HHN).
4. Jason Universe
Jason Universe is the name of the consortium that controls the assorted “Friday the 13th” rights (in the stylized version of the logo, the “i” is a “1” and the “e” is a “3”). So far, they’ve shared a new version of Jason’s iconic hockey mask, revealed a short film/hard cider commercial called “Sweet Revenge,” and opened this HHN haunted house. What’s interesting about the house is that it starts off with an original story, as a group of influencers travel to Camp Crystal Lake (as you enter the house, the old man warns you of the legend of Camp Blood), before just turning into a greatest hits collection of gags from the series. This is not a knock! It’s very fun and scary and there are some ingenious bits, like when a woman is trying to start her car while attacked by Jason. If anything, it will just remind you how much you miss the franchise. New movie soon? Please?
3. Five Nights at Freddy’s
Let’s get this out of the way first – yes, the Florida version of this house has three animatronics, whereas ours only has one. But that’s okay – we’re much more hemmed in by space. And also, the one animatronic is downright spectacular. But the rest of the house is just as good – with multiple puppets and gags, including the reappearance of a little cupcake guy who you will probably love. It’s a little strange that the house seems so indebted to the first movie, while “Five Nights at Freddy’s 2” is coming out in just a couple of months (both are made by Blumhouse and Universal). But it was just fun to spend time in that world, with those crazy killer animatronics, for just a few more minutes in between movies. Grab some pizza and go.
2. Fallout
This house is based on “Fallout,” the show on Amazon’s direct-to-consumer streaming platform Prime Video, and not the video games. And as such, it is pretty wonderful, with several scenes seemingly lifted directly from the series and a mutated bear puppet that might have been the highlight of the entire event this year. (Seriously, it’s that cool.) Plus, there’s a guy who is dressed up like Walton Goggins’ the Ghoul, runaway robots, and all sorts of other postapocalyptic threats. We weren’t expecting this one to be as good as it was, but it ended up as one of the clear standouts. Just wonderful stuff from start to finish and, much like “Five Nights at Freddy’s,” is getting us pumped for the new season, debuting on the service in time for Christmas.
1. Monstrous 3: The Ghosts of Latin America
Listen, we love an original house. And we also love when original houses spawn sequels and spinoffs as they go along. This is the third year with a “Monstrous” house, based on South American and Mexican folktales. What makes this year’s house so cool is that the first half of the maze is a new story, with new characters and creatures, and the second half is a greatest-hits style package of the previous years’ houses. (Yes, it follows a very similar structure to the Jason Universe house.) The cumulative effect is not only appreciating the new story but also just how the mythology around this house has built and grown in the past few years. There’s also an extremely cool moment where you go outside of the house, can look up at the sky, and are treated to a chilling show scene (we won’t ruin what it is). Each and every year, Universal goes out of its way to come up with the most elaborate haunted houses around; this year, they were able to do that while also looking back at what made these houses so special. And that’s why it’s our #1 this year.
