Last week, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan each treated us to fresh iterations of one of the industry’s most enduring traditions: the Hollywood Smoke Signal.
Whether hand-planted in a favored media outlet or made available to the masses, the HSS is a highly-produced, seemingly-spontaneous publicity opportunity for a celebrity or executive to send a message.
One HSS we witnessed last week is not what everyone assumes. The other raises ethical, policy and potential legal problems.
When Lohan showed up February 9 for her arraignment on grand theft felony charges, she was wearing a Spanx-tight, thigh-high bright white dress that was universally criticized. Some said she hadn’t learned anything in rehab and that the dress was more appropriate for Bar Marmont than LA County’s Airport Courthouse.
Also read: Lindsay Lohan Pleads 'Not Guilty'; Back in Court Feb. 23
Others suggested she was purposely channeling Sharon Stone in “Basic Instinct” as yet another screw-you message to the legal system, just more subtle than what she’d painted on her fingernails last July.
I’ve got another theory.
Knowing every camera not covering the Egyptian demonstrations was focused on her, I’m convinced Lohan turned it into an opportunity to tell producers and studios: “I’m back, I look fabulous and I’m ready to work.”
Remember that Lohan lost the lead in the film “Inferno,” the Linda Lovelace bio that was supposedly going to jump-start her career. The best offer she’s allegedly received recently has been as a contestant on “Dancing with the Stars.” For months, she’s mentioned her desire to return to acting.
What better way to get the attention of Hollywood decision-makers than to navigate the media scrum looking great and fearless? It wasn’t just the dress. Tabloids claim that in the lead-up to her latest court appearance, Lohan hit the salon to have her hair color freshened and possibly visited another expert to have her lips plumped. And I wonder if she might’ve had another enhancement too. Or else she was wearing a spectacular bra.
Also read: People of Egypt, Lindsay Lohan Applauds You
While I join those wondering whether lessons learned during her rehab are sticking or if she’s falling back into bad habits, when it comes to Lohan’s HSS I say: Good for her.
One day after Lohan’s most recent publicity – clearly timed to avoid taking a back seat to it – Sheen’s reps executed a stunt that would be one of the funniest HSSes ever if it weren’t outright jaw-dropping on multiple fronts.
Here’s what the media accepted blindly as fact: Sheen showed up at the UCLA basketball team’s practice, played for a bit with them and a few Major League Baseball stars also on hand, then at the invitation of UCLA head coach John Savage, offered the students “a stirring anti-drug speech” that won him “a standing ovation.” And apparently Sheen was so disappointed in his playing ability that he later hit the school’s weight room and returned the next day to work out again with the kids.
