Ricky Gervais’ 13 Best Jokes From Golden Globes Opening Monologue (Video)

The foul-mouthed comedian took aim at Sean Penn, Caitlyn Jenner, NBC, the HFPA and equal pay in Hollywood

Ricky Gervais returned to host the Golden Globes for the fourth time on Sunday night and didn’t show Hollywood any mercy as he took aim at Caitlyn Jenner, Sean Penn, equal pay for women, broadcaster NBC and of course, the HFPA itself.

Armed with a glass of beer, Gervais started off the show with a softball, addressing the audience as “disgusting, pill-popping, sexual deviant scum,” before narrowing his targets.

Here are some of his the British comedian’s best jokes from his opening monologue.

1. On Saturday night, word spread that Sean Penn had interviewed drug kingpin El Chapo for Rolling Stone, which had industry tongues wagging. Gervais addressed the controversial interview at the top of the show, saying “I’m going to do this monologue and go into hiding. Not even Sean Penn will find me,” Gervais said before calling the two-time Oscar winner a “snitch.”

2. Jennifer Lawrence‘s essay demanding equal pay for women in Hollywood was a recurring topic. Gervais noted that she received overwhelming support, with blue collar workers marching in the street wondering how on Earth “a 25 year old can live on $52 million.”

3. Gervais didn’t stop there, adding that upcoming all-female remakes of “Ghostbusters” and “Ocean’s 11” were brilliant moves by Hollywood studios, since they get “guaranteed box office results” and “don’t have to spend as much money on the cast.”

4. The Golden Globes are broadcast on NBC, so you’d think that the network would be safe, but with Gervais at the podium, no one was spared. The host gave credit to NBC for being the only “fair and impartial” network before explaining that it also happens to be “the only network with zero nominations.” Ouch!

5. The transgender community was the topic of much discussion this past year, and in the name of fairness, Gervais took aim and fired off some zingers. The host insisted he was “going to be nice” because he had “changed — but not as much as Bruce Jenner.” While Gervais then gave Caitlyn Jenner credit for breaking down barriers and challenging stereotypes, he said “she didn’t do a lot for women drivers,” alluding to a tragic incident that left one woman dead on the Pacific Coast Highway.

6. Gervais stuck with the transgender humor in a series of jokes about “Transparent” star Jeffrey Tambor. “Every day he has to put on women’s clothes and makeup and let people film it. That takes balls. I don’t know how he does it,” Gervais said, joking that he has seen Tambor’s testes and “they’re huge and long.”

7. There has been much debate about category fraud throughout Hollywood this year, and Gervais has clearly been paying attention to the gripes. “The HFPA deemed ‘The Martian’ a comedy and even nominated it, hence Matt Damon is here tonight. To be fair, ‘The Martian’ was a lot funnier than ‘Pixels,’ but then again, so was ‘Schindler’s List.” While everyone seemed to appreciate the shot at Adam Sandler, the “Schindler’s List” punchline elicited some audible shock in the audience as well as TheWrap’s newsroom.

8. Clearly, the Holocaust is no laughing matter, but apparently child molestation is. In talking about this year’s awards darling “Spotlight,” a movie about priests sexually abusing children, Gervais scored with a joke about Roman Polanski calling it “the best date movie ever.”

9. Gervais had a good bit of fun ribbing the Hollywood Foreign Press Association about it’s reputation as a group of star f–kers, describing the award as “a bit of metal that some nice, old, confused journalists want to give you to meet you and take a selfie with you.”

10. Gervais won a Golden Globe in 2004 for his work on “The Office,” though he joked that he had won three statues. “One is a doorstop, one I keep to hit burglars over the head with, and one I keep by the bed … because it’s the right size and shape,” insinuating that he shoves his Golden Globe award up his ass.

11. Gervais didn’t stop there, offering the night’s future winners some advice. “If you do win, remember that no one cares about this award as much as you do. That award is, no offense, worthless.”

12. Gervais also called HFPA president Lorenzo Soria “an old man” and insinuated that the Golden Globes are bought and paid for by studios.

13. As for the audience itself, Gervais said “you’re amazing mega stars with talent — a few of you. The rest of you just married well. You know who you are. We all do.” He later introduced the evening’s first presenters, Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill, as two actors who haven’t won a Golden Globe. “I don’t know what they’re doing here,” joked Gervais.

Golden Globes: Red Carpet Arrivals (Photos)

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