Ariana Grande paid tribute to her late ex-boyfriend Mac Miller, writing in an Instagram post on Friday, “I’m so mad, I’m so sad I don’t know what to do.”
“I adored you from the day I met you when I was nineteen and I always will,” the singer wrote. “I can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. I really can’t wrap my head around it.”
Grande’s emotional note to the rapper, who died of an apparent drug overdose last week, was accompanied by a video of the then-couple laughing while out for the night.
“We talked about this. So many times. I’m so mad, I’m so sad I don’t know what to do. You were my dearest friend,” Grande wrote.
The “No Tears Left to Cry” singer previously shared a black-and-white photo of Miller with no caption the day after his death, but has not publicly addressed his passing since.
Grande and Miller broke up earlier this year, shortly before Miller was arrested for a DUI when he ran his car into a tree. Miller’s struggles with substance abuse were widely reported — and well-documented in his music — prior to his death.
Grande wrote in a post to her Instagram story at the time of Miller’s arrest that she “cared for him and tried to support his sobriety and prayed for his balance for years… I will pray from the bottom of my heart that he figures it all out.”
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t fix or take your pain away,” Grande’s post concluded on Friday. “I really wanted to. The kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved. I hope you’re okay now. Rest.”