The Bachelorette’s Shockingly Poor Decision

The show begins with the announcement that after tonight, five men will be left and all of them will get hometown dates. In a talking head, Michael says he wants some smoochy, smoochy. Who is this guy, Richie Cunningham? The group boards the Rocky Mountaineer train. Nice. Did you know that traffic on Tourism BC’s […]

Last Updated: June 22, 2009 @ 10:26 PM

The show begins with the announcement that after tonight, five men will be left and all of them will get hometown dates. In a talking head, Michael says he wants some smoochy, smoochy. Who is this guy, Richie Cunningham?

The group boards the Rocky Mountaineer train. Nice. Did you know that traffic on Tourism BC’s website has been up 25 percent over the last few weeks? With the beautiful views from the train, expect this trend to continue.

Robby gets first one-on-one, but doesn’t want the pressure. His motto is “I think I can I think I can I think I can.” Nice train reference, Robby.

 

Score.

 

Having kids is going to be deal breaker for Jillian. Guess it’s good to get that out there, but don’t you think that’s a lot of pressure? “Love has no age, love doesn’t have a job,” Robby says. Or, he was just reading it from a fortune cookie.

 

So hold on, Jillian thinks Robby is the kind of guy she could marry, but only in the future? She says that he’s the first person she thinks of when she’s down or when she’s happy, but she lets him go? Isn’t that what love is, Jillian? Tsk … Robby out.

 

Couldn’t they at least have given him a sweater? He’s out there in the cold with only his shirt. Harsh, ABC. And is Michael crying for Robby? Wow.

Wes slips into Jillian’s room as she’s sleeping. The skeptic in me thinks he has some ulterior sexual motive, but he just wants to hug her. Awww. BARF! He even admits that he has a hidden agenda, he has records to sell, and he’s “got Jillian wrapped around his little finger, y’all.”

 

I take back all the nasty things I said about David and now apply them to Wes. Bastard!

Group date begins with six guys in the snow, as we find out that Reid gets the last one-on-one. Tanner P is already matching her snowshoes to her sweater. Yo, Tanner, if things don’t work out, there will always be a job waiting for you at your local shoe store.

 

Reid, while waiting for the group date, is asking all of the train staff for advice about his date. Jake gets the first time alone with her, and says he could easily fall in love with her. Just like their first one on one, their hands engage in intercourse. Jake seems like a good guy, and I think he’s a shoe-in for the final three. Kip, another shoe-in for the final three, takes her away and also proves that he’s a good guy, and in my opinion at least, the best match for Jillian. He also gets the first hot kiss of the night.

 

The rest of the boys move in and the conversation turns to underwear. Tanner drops his drawers and reveals the strangest pair of underwear I have ever seen, and he’s also sporting wood. I don’t think I will ever be the same after being witness to this unconventional sight.

 

Jillian says she’s not ready to see someone’s package, even though it’s huge. Her words, not mine.

 

They get time alone, and he massages her feet. He can’t stop talking about her feet. This is going beyond fetish … Jesse moves in, and they kiss. Jillian is warming up to him … Oooh, Tanner opens up to the guys regarding telling Jillian about one of the guys not coming clean.

 

Wes gets defensive, and becomes even more of a jerk. Tanner looks at Wes as if he’s about to kill him. The group date ends in the hot tub, and Kiptyn gets the rose. No surprise. What is surprising however, is the tears that appear to be flowing from Jake and Mike.

The next day, Jake corners Jillian and opens up about his feelings about her, and does a commendable job of it. Score for Jake!

Time for the one on one date with Reid, hitting the slopes at Lake Louise — on snowboards.

 

Reid sucks at snowboarding, but is a good sport about it. They dine on a table and chairs made of ice, surrounded by ice sculptures. Very cool. They kiss, and retreat to the hotel for fondue and more drinks.

 

Reid is freaked out by the concept of fondue, and his neuroses are coming out, but this makes Jillian more comfortable. Did she just refer to Vancouver as “the sticks?” Harsh! Reid is very impressive tonight, and he gets a rose — and many more kisses — for his efforts.

Banff is the final stop, and the setting for the rose ceremony. Chris, the host, brings up Wes and the possibility that he is only there for his music. Jillian erroneously believes that it is not the case with Wes. You cannot be more wrong, girlfriend.

The rose ceremony begins with Jillian yet again rocking the formalwear in fine style. She pulls Michael aside, perhaps in a last minute effort to have him prove himself. She gives roses to Jesse, Wes (NOOO!), and… Michael! WHAT???? No Jake? This is horrible. Jillian is sending home a prize (Jake) and keeping a complete dud (Wes). Not at all smart. This may just be one of the worst decisions of her life, which she will certainly regret. As the episode ends, I genuinely feel bad for Jake and hope he can move on.

Mark Stone is a freelance entertainment writer living in Kelowna, BC, Canada. He is the managing editor of DailyBrainCandy.com and author of "Behind the Screen: Hacking Hollywood."