“The good news is the impeachment trial is almost over. The bad news is, so is rule of law in America,” Bill Maher bitterly joked at the top of Friday’s episode of “Real Time.”
Maher was referring to earlier in the day when, largely along partisan lines, the Senate voted against calling witnesses to testify on the credible accusations of corruption and abuse of power at the center of Donald Trump’s impeachment trial.
“What other conclusion can you draw except that, when you saw the president’s lawyer Alan Dershowitz say at the trial that any action taken by this president to help his reelecction is, by definition, in the public interest?” Maher said. “When did we decide that? I can commit any crime if its good for me because then it’s good for America? This is like saying you can’t arrest a car thief if he thinks you should be walking more.”
Maher was particularly confused by Dershowitz’s recent political turn. “What happens to these people? Alan Dershowitz used to be normal.”
Maher then jokingly speculated that Dershowitz devised that unsettling defense of Donald Trump “while he was on Jeffrey Epstein’s plane, which he was a lot. He was getting a massage from what I’m sure was a completely age-appropriate young lady in his underwear and he ran it by her. And she said ‘please don’t make my job disgusting.”
Maher also took issue with Republican Sen. Lamar Alexander, who on Thursday performatively claimed he needed to think on it before deciding if he would vote in favor of allowing witnesses to be called, only to fail to surprise anyone by voting against it Friday morning.
“He said he made his decision after wrestling with his conscience and pinning it to the mat,” Maher said. “Alexander said yeah, he agreed Trump did it, he did all of it. But senators have taken an oath to protect Donald Trump,” which Maher joked was “just in the constitution.”
“This is gonna happen. Trump will be acquitted on Wednesday. Republicans have nothing left to do but dot the Is and cross the Ts and f— the Yous,” Maher continued, adding that “as always with Trump nothing will happen to him. He gets bigger slaps on the wrist from Melania.”
Maher concluded the rant by lamenting that “We are officially living in a dictatorship, and not even one with good rail service.” Fun times!