Bill Maher had only one thing on his mind at the start of Friday night’s episode of “Real Time,” and chances are it was the exact same thing you’ve been thinking about all day: Brett Kavanaugh
“Well you gotta bite the bullet,” Maher said during his monologue. “They’re gonna do it. They’re gonna confirm Judge red solo cup.”
Maher was referring to the news Friday that Republican Sen. Susan Collins and Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin both said they intend to vote for Kavanaugh on Saturday. This brings the total number of yes votes in the Senate to 51, making confirmation essentially certain.
“Now the big question is, where does beer go to get its reputation back?” Maher joked.
Maher noted that it’s been a rough week for liberals, and that the only thing that cheered him up was the video showing Donald Trump boarding Air Force 1 with what looked like toilet paper stuck to his shoe.
“Two things about that are very sad. One: the toilet paper is very embarrassed. And two: that is the FBI report,” a reference to the FBI’s investigation into accusations of sexual assault against Kavanaugh, who has denied any wrongdoing.
Maher then ran down the reported restrictions on the investigation, including its limited scope, short window of time, and the small number of agents assigned to it. “This is how you run a train on democracy,” he said, referencing the accusation by Julie Swetnick that she was gang raped at a high school party attended by Kavanaugh.
Maher wound things down by talking about the op-ed Kavanaugh published in the Wall Street Journal Thursday, in which he attempted to explain his demeanor during his hearing a week ago. “I might have been too emotional at times. I know that my tone was sharp, and I said a few things I should not have said,” Kavanaugh wrote.
To that, said Maher: “Good to know your next Supreme Court justice sounds just like an abusive husband trying to talk his way back into the bedroom.”