13 Top Chris Pratt Quotes: ‘Jurassic World,’ Anna Faris, Being Homeless in Hawaii
A collection of the darnest things said by the “Guardians of the Galaxy” actor
Kathy Zerbib | June 11, 2015 @ 12:49 PM
Last Updated: June 11, 2015 @ 12:53 PM
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Chris Pratt went from adorably chubby Andy on “Parks and Recreation” to action movie hunk Peter Quill in “Guardians of the Galaxy.” Pratt may have lost the pounds, but he’s certainly retained the charm.
Here are 13 quotes that showcase the “Jurassic World” actor’s sense of humor.
On how he de-stresses: “My favorite way to blow off steam is to sing obnoxiously loud in the shower.”
On the blurred line between actor and character: “It’s funny because I meet people in real life and they tell me that I am Andy. I’m like, ‘What? This guy is a homeless person and lives in a pit in the backyard of someone’s house. Give me some credit, I’m a married father with responsibilities!'”
On what to do when confronting a T-Rex: “The trick is … put your head down between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye.”
On being invisible alongside wife Anna Faris on the red carpet: “I’ve had those moments where I was like the guy holding the purse at events and people just looked right through me … Actors come up and just blatantly hit on my wife in front of me and don’t even look at me. I’m like ‘What the fuck, dude?’ I can think of exactly who they are, too, and I hope they fucking audition for ‘Guardians of the Galaxy.'”
On gaining newfound respect from the industry: “Producers and studio people now who will come up to me and treat me the same way that they were treating Anna. They’re like, ‘I always knew…’ I’m like, ‘Is that right? That’s interesting, because you fucking stared right through me the last time…'”
On living in a van on the beach in Maui after dropping out of college: “It’s a pretty awesome place to be homeless. We just drank and smoked weed and worked minimal hours, just enough to cover gas, food and fishing supplies.”
On sending poop photos to “Parks and Recreation” costar Nick Offerman: “Not like every poop, but if it’s special enough… If it’s shaped like a letter — that qualifies. Like, one time I had one that was three pieces that landed in the shape of an N. I was like, ‘Gotta send that to Nick — it’s his first initial!'”
On the “Jurassic World” press tour: “I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally saying during the forthcoming #JurassicWorld press tour. I hope you understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and I am truly sorry. I swear. I’m the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(s). I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try!”
On Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom‘s scuffle: “How embarrassing to get punched by Orlando Bloom. Like, of all the people to get punched by, it’s Orlando Bloom. I’d rather get farted on by David Hasselhoff!”
On his suspension from his high school track team for getting naked on the team bus: “I didn’t understand how somebody could be so offended by me just taking my junk out.”
On being typecast: “As long as I keep getting cast, I don’t care if it’s typecast.”
On becoming overweight: “I put on weight because I’d fallen in love with a woman [actress Anna Faris] who loved to feed her man. We were drinking a lot of wine and having fun. I was her little Hansel out in the woods and she was fattening me up to put me in the fire. It was like Momma Bear and Papa Bear. She would eat a little bit, I would eat all of mine and the rest of hers.”
On eating healthier: “When I was fat and unhappy, the only moments of respite I got was when I was eating. Now mealtimes are sometimes lame, because that’s the way it can be when you’re eating healthily. But all the time between meals, I feel great.”
See Chris Pratt in action when “Jurassic World” opens in theaters on June 12.
42 Summer Movies on Our Radar: From 'Avengers,' 'Jurassic World' to 'Magic Mike XXL' (Photos)
"Avengers: Age of Ultron" - May 1 The elite superhero team -- including Scarlett Johansson, Robert Downey Jr., Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans -- assembles again in this follow up to the 2012 blockbuster.
Marvel/Disney
"Welcome to Me" - May 1 Kristen Wiig stars in this indie drama about a woman with borderline personality disorder who buys herself a cable access talk show after winning the lottery. Will Ferrell and Adam McKay produced.
Alchemy
"The D-Train" - May 8 Jack Black plays the head of his high school reunion committee who must convince the most popular guy in his class (James Marsden) to attend the reunion in this Sundance pic.
IFC
"Maggie" - May 8 Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in this indie as a father who stays with his daughter (Abigail Breslin) as she transforms into a zombie.
Roadside Attractions
"Hot Pursuit" - May 8 Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara star in this buddy comedy about a straight-laced cop (Witherspoon) tasked with escorting a witness (Vergara) to her trial
Warner Bros
"The Connection" - May 15 Oscar-winner Jean Dujardin stars in this French crime thriller as a real-life policeman who dedicates his career to taking down a drug lord (Gilles Lellouche)
Relativity
"Mad Max: Fury Road" - May 15 Tom Hardy takes over the role that made Mel Gibson an international star in this reboot from the madcap mind of George Miller
Warner Bros.
"Pitch Perfect 2" - May 15 Anna Kendrick returns for the song-filled sequel to the 2012 musical smash hit.
Universal
"Poltergeist" - May 22 Sam Rockwell leads a remake of the 1982 horror classic that was originally written by Steven Spielberg.
Twentieth Century Fox
"Tomorrowland" - May 22 George Clooney and Britt Robertson star in a sci-fi fantasy about a man and woman who must discover the secrets of a strange land lost in time and space.
Disney
"Aloha" - May 29 Cameron Crowe directs Bradley Cooper and Emma Stone in a romantic comedy about a military contractor overseeing a satellite launch in Hawaii.
Columbia Pictures/Twentieth Century Fox
"San Andreas" - May 29
Dwayne Johnson stars in a disaster movie about a chopper pilot who must rescue his daughter (Alexandra Daddario) after a massive earthquake strikes California.
Warner Bros.
"Entourage" - June 5 Vince (Adrian Grenier) drives Ari (Jeremy Piven) up the wall when he decides to direct and star in his own movie in the big screen version of the HBO show.
HBO/Warner Bros.
"Spy" - June 5 Melissa McCarthy co-wrote and stars in a comedy about a CIA analyst who gets her chance to work in the field when an arms dealer (Rose Byrne) threatens to destabilize the world.
Twentieth Century Fox
"Insidious Chapter 3" - June 5 In this horror prequel, psychic Elise Rainier (Lin Shaye) agrees to help teenager (Stefanie Scott) who is being targeted by a supernatural force.
Blumhouse
"Jurassic World" - June 12 Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas-Howard lead the latest installment in the Michael Crichton-inspired series. This time around, the park is terrorized by a genetically-engineered dinosaur that escapes its enclosure.
Legendary Pictures
"Me and Earl and The Dying Girl" - June 12 This 2015 Sundance Grand Jury winner follows an anti-social teen (Thomas Mann) who falls in love with a classmate (Olivia Cooke) who has leukemia.
Fox Searchlight
"Dope" - June 19 This Sundance breakout centers on a teen (Shameik Moore) trying to make his Ivy League dreams come true in his tough LA neighborhood.
Open Road Films
"Inside Out" - June 19 Pixar takes us inside the mind of a little girl as her emotions vie for control. Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling and Bill Hader all lend their voices.
Disney/Pixar
"Ted 2" - June 26 Seth MacFarlane's foul-mouthed teddy bear returns in the sequel that finds Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) and John (Mark Wahlberg) fighting in court to prove that Ted is human.
Universal Pictures
"Batkid Begins" June 26 This feel-good documentary tells the story of a five-year-old leukemia patient who inspired people from all over the world to help him live out his dream of being Batman for a day.
Warner Bros
"Max" - June 26 A Marine-trained German shepherd is sent to live with the family of his former handler (Robbie Amell), who was killed in Afghanistan
Warner Bros
"Big Game" - June 26 A teenage-boy (Onni Tommila) rescues the President of the United States (Samuel L. Jackson) when Air Force One crash lands near his campsite.
EuropaCorp
"Magic Mike XXL" - July 1 Channing Tatum gyrates his way into this sequel as stripper "Magic" Mike who decides to attend an annual stripper conference in Myrtle Beach.
Warner Bros.
"Terminator: Genisys" - July 1 Arnold Schwarzenegger is back as the unstoppable android as he fights to protect Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) with the help of Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney).
Paramount
"Minions" - July 2 The Minions are back in this "Despicable Me" spinoff. This time, they are recruited by a super-villainess (Sandra Bullock) in her plot to take over the world.
Universal Pictures
"The Bronze" - July 10 "Big Bang Theory" star Melissa Rauch co-wrote and stars in this comedy about a former Olympic athlete clinging to her last shreds of fame.
Relativity
"Self/Less" - July 10 Ryan Reynolds stars in this thriller about a wealthy, dying man who pays to have his consciousness transferred into a younger body. When he begins to investigate where the body came from, he discovers a terrifying mystery
Focus Features
"Ant-Man" - July 17 Paul Rudd leads this Marvel comic adaptation about a con man who is given a device that can shrink him in scale by Dr. Hank Pym (Michael Douglas).
Marvel/Disney
"Trainwreck" - July 17 Amy Schumer and Bill Hader star in a Judd Apatow comedy about a magazine writer (Schumer) who refuses to commit, until her relationship with a doctor (Hader) challenges her notions of monogamy.
Universal Pictures
"Stanford Prison Experiment" - July 17 Based on the infamous 1971 psychological experiment, 24 male students volunteer to play prisoners or guards in a mock-prison, only for things to spiral completely out of control.
IFC
"Paper Towns" - July 24 Based on the novel by John Green, Nat Wolff plays a boy who convinces his friends to embark on a road trip to find the missing girl next door (Cara Delevingne).
Twentieth Century Fox
"Pixels" - July 24 Adam Sandler leads a team of gamers (Kevin James, Josh Gad, Peter Dinklage) who must fight aliens that invade Earth in the form of classic video games.
Columbia Pictures
"Southpaw" - July 24 Jake Gyllenhaal packed on the muscle for this drama about a troubled boxer fighting to regain custody of his daughter. Antoine Fuqua directed based on a script by Kurt Sutter.
The Weinstein Company
"Irrational Man" - July 24 Joaquin Phoenix and Emma Stone star in a Woody Allen film about a college philosophy professor (Phoenix) who enters into a relationship with his student (Stone).
Sony Classics
"Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation" - July 31 Tom Cruise once again does the impossible as he leads his team against an international syndicate intent on destroying the Impossible Mission Force.
Paramount
"End of the Tour" - July 31 Jesse Eisenberg stars as Rolling Stone journalist David Lipsky as he conducts a series of interviews with author David Foster Wallace (Jason Segel). The film is based on Lipsky's book, "Although of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself."
A24
"Fantastic Four" - August 7 Miles Teller (Mr. Fantastic), Michael B. Jordan (Human Torch), Kate Mara (Invisible Girl), and Jamie Bell (The Thing) lead this comic adaptation about the superhero team that gained powers after an accident in space.
Twentieth Century Fox
"Masterminds" - August 7 Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudekis and Zach Galifianakis star in this heist comedy about a real 1997 armored car robbery in North Carolina
Relativity
"The Man From U.N.C.L.E." - August 14 Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer play an American and Russian agent forced to team up to stop an evil organization trying to steal nuclear weapons. The film is based on the 1964 TV series of the same name.
Warner Bros
"Straight Outta Compton" - August 14 O'Shea Jackson Jr., the son of Ice Cube, plays his father in this look at the impact of the revolutionary gangster rap group NWA.
Universal
"Hitman: Agent 47" - August 28 Rupert Friend stars in this video game adaptation about a genetically engineered assassin who teams up with a mysterious young woman to bring down an evil corporation.
Twentieth Century Fox
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