Like many of you, Stephen Colbert isn’t too happy about the way Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is handling the Donald Trump impeachment, and on Tuesday’s episode of “The Late Show,” the late-night host broke down some of his least favorite bits.
Colbert kicked things off in his opening monologue by noting that the impeachment of Trump “is a pivotal day in this history of the Republic. Soon we will find out if breaking the law is illegal.” But, Colbert continued, “so far I don’t like the odds.”
Colbert then explained how on Tuesday, the Senate debated “the rules proposed by Senate Majority Leader and ‘Scrotum of the Opera,’ Mitch McConnell,” which among other things doesn’t guarantee any witnesses will be called. “So, no evidence, no witnesses, just 100 old people stuck in a room together. This isn’t a trial, it’s the 4:00 dinner rush at Denny’s, or a matinee in Branson, Missouri,” Colbert joked.
But even if witnesses are called, Colbert noted, McConnell “has a built-in fail-safe” thanks to a provision that could make it so witnesses never testify publicly.
“The American people deserve a fair and transparent process,” Colbert said, impersonating McConnell. “Now place the testimony hood over the witness’ head, drag him into the fact dungeon, and uh, beat him with the truth hose.”
Colbert also noted that according to a CNN poll, 69% of respondents think the trial should definitely include public testimony from witnesses.
“That’s a 2/3 majority,” he said. “But then again, if we did what the majority wants, Hillary would be president and we’d have Mallomars all year round.”
Watch the whole thing below:
TONIGHT: Is crime illegal? America is about to find out because it's day one of Trump's impeachment trial! #LSSC pic.twitter.com/hpcT6z0usF
— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) January 22, 2020