By now you know of course that New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo has resigned, effective later this month, a week after an independent study concluded he has sexually harassed at least 11 women.
For those who believe his accusers and the report, Cuomo’s speech — in which he continued to deny any wrongdoing, bragged about his purported accomplishments combatting harassment, and insisted the report somewhat cleared him — might have left something to be desired. Enter Stephen Colbert, who opened Tuesday’s episode of “The Late Show” with a remixed version of the televised address that presented the speech Cuomo probably should have given.
After (per usual) a brief recap of the situation, white text on a black background read: The late show editors had some free time so they improved Cuomo’s resignation speech.” Here then, is the text of the new and improved address:
“So let’s start New York tough with the truth. I sexually harassed 11 women. I was continuously trying to recruit more women to hug and kiss. No other state government accomplished more sexual harassment. Thank you for the honor of touching you.”