During his monologue on Wednesday’s “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert laid into Republicans for letting Donald Trump off the hook in his impeachment trial, especially Maine Sen. Susan Collins, who he likened to a Lovecraftian monster.
The impeachment trial on Wednesday reached its almost completely predictable conclusion when, despite all the evidence that Trump abused his power, he was acquitted anyway after almost every Senate Republican voted not to convict him.
“There it is, it’s official: Nothing means anything. Right is wrong, up is down, Missouri is Kansas,” Colbert said about the acquittal. “Now we know that asking a foreign power to interfere in our election is the new normal. The Democrats have no choice but to do the same thing.”
Then, in what sounded like an impersonation of Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders, Colbert said “Russia, if you’re listening, I could really use that ‘pee pee tape.’ Milk milk, lemonade, around the corner justice is made.”
Colbert then got to mocking Republicans, specifically those who made unconvincing claims that they believe Trump will change his behavior despite not being convicted. Like Collins, who has been widely mocked for saying on Tuesday that she believes Trump “will be much more cautious in the future.”
“By the way Mr. President if you need help getting rid of a body, I’m your girl,” Colbert said, imitating Collins. “The secret is removing the hands and teeth then killing the guy who sold you the shovel. There’s a reason that the master of horror Stephen King lives in Maine; I seem really folksy but if you listen closely to what I’m justifying, suddenly I seem like a skinbag filled with writing tentacles.”
But Colbert wasn’t done. He noted Collins turned around and on Wednesday said she probably shouldn’t have said she “believes” Trump would change for the better and that a better word would be “hopes.”
“Yes,” Colbert said about that. “And a better word for ‘Senator Susan Collins’ would be ‘former Senator Susan Collins.’” Watch the clip below:
TONIGHT: Trump was not legit but the Senate still voted to acquit. #LSSC pic.twitter.com/DhwPZw66WZ
— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) February 6, 2020