For the most part, people drank a whole lot last year — one study found people reported drinking 14% more in 2020 than they did in 2019. That turned out to be a pretty sweet turn of events for the alcohol industry, which saw enormous earnings from online sales; early on in the pandemic, booze purchases increased by 57%.
But it wasn’t a pandemic party for every corner of the alcohol industry. It turns out that sales of champagne (and other sparkling wines) dropped by a whopping 18% in 2020, and the sector is still hurting. Yikes.
Of course, when you realize that good ol’ bubbly is closely associated with celebrating — and pretty much every large-scale celebration you can think of got canceled in 2020 — you can figure out why sales declined so dramatically. But on Thursday’s “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert came up with a brilliant solution: Just make everything a celebration.
Colbert’s funny concept came in the form of a fake commercial for the champagne industry, which urges people to make up for all the weddings and graduations and whatever else they can’t attend by celebrating “the little things” instead.
“Like doing all the dishes,” the voiceover narrator says. “Finishing ‘Bridgerton.’ Or cleaning your messy grout.”
“You break champagne to christen a new boat, no? So why not christen… a new mailbox. A new book. Or even a new bottle of champagne.”
In addition, the ad promises champagne bottles make great self-defense weapons and can even serve as bowling pins. Watch the whole clip from tonight’s episode of “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” below.