On the latest “A Late Show,” the quarantining-at-home version of “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert reimagined “The Ten Commandments” as a coronavirus warning to talk about the issue of churches refusing to obey shelter-in-place guidelines during the pandemic.
The clip begins with news footage about churches that will hold fill worship services despite the elevated risk of COVID-19 exposure in close quarters. Then it switches to the burning bush scene from the 1956 classic film starring Charlton Heston, with Heston’s dialogue edited for context but otherwise unchanged, and all new dialogue for God.
“I know I already gave you the Ten Commandments, but there’s one more thing. In the future there will be a worldwide pandemic,” The Lord says in the doctored clip.
“Lord,” Heston’s Moses responds.
“Lord is right. Super scary,” God continues. “Tell the faithful they should pray to me from home.”
“What words can I speak that they will heed?” asks Moses.
“Um. Try ‘Flatten the curve,’ or ‘Don’t be a jerk.’ Also,” God adds, “people are going to ask what they’re supposed to do all day while they’re quarantined.”
Moses replies, “How shall I answer them?”
“Tell them they just announced a new episode of ‘Tiger King,'” God says. (He’s not wrong.)
“Also, worry not, I will send down a savior,” The Lord continues.
“What is his name?” asks Moses.
God’s reply: “His name is Jared Kushner.” Then the scene cuts back to a shot of Moses saying nothing, and looking completely stone-faced.
“Gotcha!” God adds. “Ho ho, Moses, you should’ve seen your face. Thou shalt not be a sucker.”
Watch the whole thing above. And please stay safe out there.