On Thursday’s “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert poked fun at the overwrought way news media is covering the conflict between the British royal family and Meghan Markle ahead of Markle’s Oprah interview — lots of hyperbolic descriptions like “feud escalates” — by imagining what it would be like if Queen Elizabeth actually insulted Markle publicly.
The clip, which begins with a rundown of recent coverage, repurposes footage of QEII addressing Parliament but with the audio replaced by a bunch of insults.
“Lords and members of the House of Commons: I will now tear that Yankee Tramp, Meghan Markle, a new one,” the Queen begins. “Meghan Markle is so fat” — at which point the crowd yells “how fat is she?” — “Meghan Markle is so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits around the house. Of Commons. Which is quite large.”
“Knock knock,” the Queen continued, prompting the crowd to say “who’s there?” “Harry and Meghan.” “Harry and Meghan who?” “Exactly,” the Queen replied. “Nobody cares because they quit the royal family. A-boom, kiss my buttered crumpets.”
Yeah, even in fiction Markle comes out ahead, we think.
Markle’s Oprah interview will air just days after a U.K. newspaper report accused Markle of “bullying” during her time with the royal family. Citing unnamed sources and an email allegedly sent by a former employee of the couple, the Times report said Meghan “drove two personal assistants out of the household.”
Watch Colbert’s take on the whole thing above.