Though many people were obsessed with the primary election results on Super Tuesday, Stephen Colbert took a moment during his opening monologue on “The Late Show” to talk about a much less stressful and amusing topic: coronavirus.
Colbert went through a grab bag of recent news developments related to the spread of the disease, starting with the highly unsettling press conference President Donald Trump held with several pharmaceutical industry CEOs on Monday. During the presser, Trump asked them what if “you take a solid flu vaccine — you don’t think that would have an impact or much of an impact on corona?”
The answer, for those of you wondering, is obviously no. And for those of you wondering, yes, that is who is in charge of the United States at this historical moment.
Anyway, Colbert riffed on that unscientific approach. “A regular flu vaccine won’t work? Ah, weird, what about, what about a solid flu vaccine, I’m talking top shelf, admiral class?” Colbert said in his Trump impression voice. “What about a circle dot cootie shot, what about that? How about this, box of Band-Aids, I’m talking really good ones, ‘Frozen 2,’ all-Elsa, throw away Anna’s they don’t work, OK? Try it? Will you try it?”
Colbert them lamented the pathetic efforts in the U.S. to fight the coronavirus, among them how botched testing and data collection efforts have been. “We’re so far behind the other nations it’s embarrassing. We’re like the friend who’s just now saying, ‘Guys, I just started this show called ‘Game of Thrones,’ I think it’s gonna catch on,” Colbert joked. “I cannot wait, I cannot wait to see who wins that throne game. I bet it’s Ned Stark, I’m on episode 1.”
Colbert then talked about the thing everyone keeps bringing up when talking about fighting the spread of coronavirus: How important it is to wash your hands.
“Experts say you have to scrub for a minimum of 20 seconds, OK. That’s a lot of time,” Colbert said. “That’s time I could be spending with my family. Spreading the coronavirus.”
Watch the clip below:
TONIGHT: Is the Trump administration handling the Coronavirus well? No, so wash your hands. #LSSC pic.twitter.com/TEFb4sdxo0
— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) March 4, 2020