Watch Japanese Etiquette Coach Continuously Tell Conan O’Brien He’s Ugly (Video)

And fat

Conan O’Brien headed to Japan recently to collect a little coin and learn some manners. Turns out, his etiquette coach and her assistant over there could use a few lessons themselves.

First, the instructor really didn’t want to touch Conan — like, at all. After all, they’re not boyfriend-girlfriend, she said — and it sounds like they are never going to be.

“You’re not my type,” she told him, adding that his “face” was the main problem.

Later, while touching O’Brien’s stomach, the coach told the TBS host that he “needs exercise.”

“Very fluffy,” her handsy assistant added.

Watch the video above.