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Conan Learns How to Make Valentine’s Day Cards Out of Human Teeth (Video)

These might be the grossest Valentines you’ve ever seen

This Valentine’s Day, try making a card with a little more… pizzazz.

Conan O’Brien brought crafting expert Melody Craft on Thursday night’s episode to teach him how to make cards out of “recycled materials.” Little did he know, one of those cards would be made out of human teeth.

“You can get them at Michael’s,” Craft said. “Michael is my ex-boyfriend.”

She proceeded to show Conan a few other crafting methods, while steadily ignoring his questions about why she has human teeth laying around — and why she has pictures of him sleeping.

Next, she held up a white paper prescription bag, which she claims to have found in the trash outside of Conan’s house. Inside the bag was a special Valentine she made just for Conan, decorated with a heart made out of human hair.

“Is this my hair? How did you get my hair?” he asked.

“Oh Conan. You’re too funny,” she said. “Another Valentines idea is to make a booklet of your favorite memories together. Conan, this is you leaving your house this morning.”

She held up a card with a black and white creeper-shot of Conan coming out of his front door.

Her parting Valentine’s gift to Conan takes the cake — a cooler containing a bloody heart.

“Oh Conan, calm down. It’s not human. I’m not crazy,” Craft said.

Watch the video above.