“You want me to move the ‘Tonight Show’ to 12:05? Forget it, I’m not doing it. Go to hell."
Conan O’Brien’s return to late night television began fittingly: a "f— you" to NBC in the form of a “Godfather” spoof with cameos from Jon Hamm and Larry King. (Scroll down to watch the video.)
O’Brien then spent most of his first monologue for TBS trashing NBC.
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“Welcome to my second first show,” O’Brien told the audience, shortly after quieting their “Co-nan” chant. “I know what you’re thinking — it’s that guy from Twitter."
The still-bearded ex-“Tonight Show” host explained why he named the show “Conan.”
“I did it so I’d be harder to replace," he said.
"It’s not easy doing a late-night show on a channel without a lot of money and that viewers have trouble finding," O'Brien added. "That’s why I left NBC."
Coco saved a few monologue jokes for TBS, too.
“We’re number one in TBS’ key demographic: people who can’t afford HBO."
The first show answered a few lingering questions about Coco’s jump from NBC to TBS, most notably, “How long before popular characters like the 'Masturbating Bear' show up?” (Answer: 11 minutes.)
Seth Rogen — technically O’Brien’s second guest (the first was the contest-winning curator of a “Nutcracker” museum) — tested TBS’ censors early and often, first with a not-suitable-for-broadcast-TV story about how he proposed to his girlfriend (“s—“ may not be allowed on basic cable, but “titties” is) and, later, Rogen’s admission that he was easily able to score a medical marijuana prescription.
The set looked like a hybrid of NBC's "Late Night" and O'Brien's "Tonight Show" — marked by a distracting, oversized remote-controlled moon hovering above an ocean backdrop. (I think they'll lose the moon, eventually.)
O'Brien ended his first hour on basic cable performing a song with Jack White — with guitar chops honed on his "Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television" tour.
Conan's back on television, being funny — which is good news for TBS, and, really, all of us.
