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Conan’s New Porn Career and Letterman’s Take on Late Night Crisis 2010

The late night funnymen are still joking about their new favorite topic: each other

David Letterman is finally weighing in on LateNightCrisis2010, while Conan O’Brien says he’s considering a career in hard-core porn.

On Monday’s show, Letterman first offered an awesome history of the recent history of late night, with pleny of jabs at Jay Leno ("big jaw," he called him) and NBC. His impression of Leno working on his car and calling out to wife Mavis is must-see TV.

Video below:

 

Then, Dave did a top 10 list on the problems facing NBC ("Snookie is getting the 10 p.m. slot").

Conan, meanwhile, offered up more blistering jokes.

"I have learned a valuable lesson from all this: never sign a contract that ends with the word ‘NOT,’" he said.

And O’Brien offered up another round of jokey ideas for his next move. Our favorite: "Leave television altogether, and work in a classier business with better people, like hard core porn."

Here’s O’Brien’s list of options:

-Go to ABC and star in a male redhead version of ‘Cougartown’ called ‘Redwolf Village’.
-Host a show on B.E.T. called ‘White All Night’.
-Move to FOX and follow their hit “24” with a new show called “24:05.”
-Televise my own colonoscopy on the Bravo Channel in a show called ‘Project Funway’.
-Convince NBC to let me keep this time slot if I can gain 10 pounds of chin.
-Andy and I will become a team of wacky morning DJ’s called ‘Big Red And The Booger’.
-Pretend to put my son in a giant foil balloon, then sit back and watch the offers come pouring in!
-Perform the show live every night from Zanies Comedy Club at 7:30 and 9:30. (1/2 price drinks if you tell ‘em “Coco” sent ya!)
-Bring sanity back to NBC by hiring Gary Busey as head of programming.

Video of Conan and Dave’s bits is right here, via Gawker.

Back over at CBS, Craig Ferguson also devoted much of his show open to the late-night mess. But he ended by putting things in perspective.

"It is a bunch of middle age white guys arguing over who gets ‘x’ million dollars," he said. "Who gives a f—?”