Trevor Noah used Halloween to truly terrify us all. “The Daily Show” just did an entire episode from Donald Trump’s post-apocalyptic America in 2020 — and it doesn’t look like the GOP candidate’s first term went so well.
First, viewers can catch up to the former self-proclaimed Roastmaster General, Jeff Ross, who had been promoted to Trump’s Secretary of Offense. Unfortunately, the comedian’s Twitter jokes weren’t quite harsh enough to meet The Donald’s high standards, and Ross had to go hide underground.
After all, comedy is illegal under the Trump presidency, Ross reminded a bold Noah, who was still broadcasting pirate-style from his disheveled New York City studio. Oh, and Ross added that he’s been having unprotected sex with rats, so there’s that.
The Lex Luthor-looking stand-up comic also informed his South African friend that Noah may be the final person of color remaining in the country. Or at the very least, he’s the last one without AIDS, per a nasty Trump regime rumor. Awesome.
That’s all news to the otherwise unplugged Noah, who obviously hasn’t read Trump’s new biography, “Mein Kampf … Is Bigger Than Your Kampf.”
Watch the horrifying video above.
Thought the government was crooked before Trump won the 2016 election? His cabinet has established a literal Thought Police, Ross tells us. Later, we learn from a sewer-dwelling Desi Lydic that there’s an actual Fat-Shaming Commission, too.
Under Trump, Lydic is classified as a “7” (out of 10, based solely on looks, of course), and her government-issued armband proves that. Good news, however: After losing some weight from starvation, she becomes an 8, which is terrific, because now she can vote, eat dessert on Saturdays, and even speak freely around men — IF she raises her hand. (Don’t eat too much pie, Desi, being a 7 in Trump’s America kinda sucks.)
Oh, she also reveals that fellow Comedy Central personality Chris Hardwick is being forced to perform “@midnight” 24/7, only he now gives out points for genuine Trump compliments. So, could be worse for you personally, Trevor.
Watch the Lydic check-in here:
And don’t miss this pro-bullying ad, totally endorsed by the Trump reelection committee: