This just in from the home office in Manhattan: David Letterman’s comments about the sextortion scandal, as delivered on tonight’s "Late Show":
I need to talk to you about a segment of my life here that began six months ago.
I found myself in some legal trouble, and pretty quickly, it was turned over to the District Attorney’s office here in Manhattan. Now, I’d never been involved in anything like this in my life, and I was concerned and full of anxiety and nervous and worried. And the people in the District Attorney’s office said, ‘This will be handled professionally, this will be handled skillfully, and appropriately.’
Well, the matter was resolved today, and they were exactly right – it was handled professionally, skillfully and appropriately. And by way of demonstrating my thanks to the men and women who worked on this, I would like to mention their names now: District Attorney of Manhattan Cyrus Vance, the former District Attorney Robert M. Morgenthau, the Special Prosecutions Bureau in the D.A.’s office and, of course, the New York City Police Department.
Thank you all for your help.”