“The Ellen DeGeneres Show” returned to the air for its 12th season Monday, and the show host got things off to a rousing start during the premiere’s monologue, taking friendly pokes at the Coachella music festival, tabloid reports about her relationship with Portia de Rossi and even overzealous fans.
“This show is turning 12 years old. So this year’s going to be awkward, oily and raging with hormones,” DeGeneres cracked at the top of the monologue.
Touting the season kickoff as the “biggest premiere show ever,” DeGeneres touted a guest list that includes all four coaches on the NBC singing competition “The Voice,” plus Kim Kardashian and Iggy Azalea.
“It’s like Coachella but with clean bathrooms,” DeGeneres joked.
DeGeneres went on to dish about her summer vacation to France and Croatia with de Rossi, her wife, “who I am happily married to, but thank you for your heartfelt concern, tabloids.”
Unfortunately, DeGeneres noted, she didn’t get a chance to snap vacation photos, but thankfully there was no shortage of fans willing to take pictures of the couple and post them on Instagram. Or, at least, there was one female fan who was kind enough to interrupt the couple’s romantic dinner in order to snap a selfie with them.
Watch DeGeneres’ monologue below.