Five Possible Replacements for ‘The Hills’

A list of options for MTV after the final episode of “The Hills” airs on Tuesday night

After four years on the air, MTV on Tuesday night will air the last episode of "The Hills," the faux reality show about pretty young people living in Los Angeles, doing infinitely fascinating things like hanging out on the beach and partying at trendy clubs.

It was a cultural bonbon at best, a nadir of American celebrity fascination at worst.

As "The Hills" goes away with a merciful whimper, we offer some new ideas for the network to replace those empty TV calories.

The Pills: A show about college kids who are hooked on Adderall and Ritalin. Basically, this would be like a mix between "Weeds" and "Intervention." Finally, a series that tells the true story of modern college life! 

The Hill: Like "The Hills," this show would follow a people who are dealing with starting new jobs and living in the big city — a group of freshman congressmen bunking together in D.C. after the upcoming midterm elections. It would feature hookups, cheating, substance-abuse drama and lots of key plot points unfolding during meals at expensive restaurants.

The Kills: A series that documents the lives of young people growing up in the shadow of Staten Island's Fresh Kills landfill. Think "Jersey Shore" meets "Dirty Jobs."

The Wills: This show would delve into the reading of a different will each week. Famous people's family members and hangers-on usually are eager to capitalize on every aspect of their death, so there would be plenty of room for special celebrity episodes.

The Wills (U.K. Edition):  Prince William, the heir to the British throne, is known as "Wills" to his legions of loyal subjects. If I were king of somewhere, I like to think my life would be an endless stream of champagne and models. Maybe it would be like that if MTV got the prince to do a reality show. That would be awesome.