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Gosselin: Control Freak or Out-of-Control Narcissist?

Jon now gets the skirts that he could never catch before his sudden unearned rise to fame as Kate’s hubby.

Not satisfied with the abundance of media attention already showered upon him Jon Gosselin is now pumping up the volume with suicidal threats.  

Gosselin former nanny Stephanie Santoro revealed, publicly of course, that she feared Gosselin would kill himself if girlfriend Hailey Glassman left him for good. Some say the threat is an attempt to control Glassman, keep her under his thumb.

Jon Gosselin a control freak? I think not. I see the evolving Gosselin family freak-show a bit differently.

When Jon and soon-to-be ex-wife Kate Gosselin first broke up, Jon was reported to be devastated. Crying in the laps of one cupcake after another he lamented, "Why? Why? Why?" Are you friggin' kidding me?  

Call me quirky but the way not to keep a marriage or any intimate relationship intact is to be clubbing around in public with beautiful babies and, oh gee, forgetting to wear your wedding band. Might cause a problem or two when you sauntered home. Schtupping the babysitter doesn't help either. Ya think?

What Jon didn't realize was that a divorce from Kate also meant a divorce from the TLC network. He got dumped from the show "John and Kate Plus 8" (now just ‘Kate Plus 8’) that propelled him into the spotlight. That's where Jon found his true love: the massive public awareness, even if not always adoring, that comes with the celebrity!

A paparazzi favorite, Jon now gets the skirts that he could never catch before his sudden unearned rise to fame as Kate's hubby.  Jon relishes the fame, fortune and frenzy that the life of a star brings and he's not about to let it go.

Each time he becomes vulnerable to losing a smidgen of fame factor he does something to turn the cameras back towards him.  Break up with Kate — issue public apology for womanizing and announce a change of heart. Again publicly, he begged Kate to put aside her anger so that they could be good cooperative parents and do what is best for the family. He begged the court to suspend his split with Kate for 90 days. Hmm … as a court-sanctioned partner in parenting, often present in the lives of his children, meant Jon couldn't be kicked off the show!  

But it didn't work. Jon was still off the show.

Next up, forget Kate, enter new girlfriend Hailey Glassman. More fodder for the hungry media. That clever stunt threatened to derail when Hailey tells the press that Jon beat her up and was emotionally abusive.  

Uh-oh. Time for another public apology. Jon apologizes to Hailey blaming the media for the emotional pain she incurred by being in the media microscope as his squeeze du jour. He asks her to give him the opportunity to prove himself, while the world watches, of course.

I nearly choked on my pumpkin spice latte when I heard the rumor that Jon was collaborating in a reality TV program with Octomom Nadya Suleman.

Ah, Jon is back with his paramour, a television show that will guarantee his celebrity — at least for as long as that show lasts. Whoopsie, no such show was in the making. Jon gets yet another shot at a public apology, this time for behavior that may have in some way lent credence to such outrageous stories.  Well, I'll give him that.  He's a master at exhibiting outrageous behavior that becomes the lead story in the tabloid press.  

Well done!

With no new show to ride, Jon realizes he may need some serious help. Who does he turn to?  Why of course! Enter celebrity Rabbi Schmuley Boteach, a man who is no stranger to media attention and is still basking in the spotlight of his relationship with Michael Jackson. Boteach and Gosselin engage in an intimate dialog at New York City's Westide Synagogue, the public was invited of course.

Tickets were sold. Why wouldn’t they?

I can't make this stuff up!

This is a tale of an out of control narcissist; someone who hates himself so much that he needs constant attention in order to fill the empty void where his self-esteem should live. The trouble is there isn't a spotlight in the world that can shine a light bright enough to warm this frightened hidden soul. Jon will go to any length to feed the vacant hole in his very being in a desperate attempt to feel good about himself.  

The public will be entertained by one publicity stunt after another until it is completely bored or onto the next train wreck of painful misguided celebrity self-sabotage splashes across the headlines.

Jon, it is not simply being a celebrity that creates a revered superstar, it is what a famous person does with the media attention at his or her command that delivers true adoration. Instead of continuing down this path of self-destruction here are a few suggestions to modify your behavior:

— Figure out who you are and what you really want to do.

— Speak and act in the direction of that dream.

— Pay attention to your choices. Stop before you take any action that does not support who you are and what you want to do and reconsider.

Reach for a better perspective, make a worthier choice.

Known as the Michael Bay of Life Coaching, Valery likes to blow inner babblecrap up. Clients learn how to trade in old self-sabotaging routines and rituals for newly designed strategies. She provides a private, exclusive concierge level of service for her elite clientele. For more information please visit http://www.MoxieTherapy.com.