(Some spoilers ahead for the season 2 premiere of ABC’s “Designated Survivor”)
Now that we’re nine months through 2017, “Designated Survivor” is exceptionally depressing.
That’s a compliment. “Designated Survivor” isn’t a depressing show in the normal sense. It’s just depressing in the current cultural context, with its fictional presidential administration serving as a severe contrast to the actual presidential administration we’ve been horrifyingly saddled with in real life. It’s the most topical show going. It’s real. Though it may be too real at this point.
This is a topic we’ve discussed here previously, describing the show as an “antidote” to Trump’s presidency. Whereas Trump constantly tramples all over what have always been considered (at least outwardly) our collective ideals as Americans, Kiefer Sutherland’s President Kirkman fully embraces our stated American values and makes them work inside a hyperpartisan political maelstrom.
Season 1 felt like a sort of catharsis, as we were coming to grips with our new reality. But we’re well past the “coming to grips” stage of this coping process. The Trump administration has consistently been as bad as or worse than we expected, and the joke isn’t funny — reaching a new low this week as Trump neglects Puerto Rico in the wake of Hurricane Maria, which given the dire situation on the island may contribute to the deaths of American citizens.
So when I watched the season 2 premiere of “Designated Survivor” I didn’t really feel good as I saw this fictional president deftly navigate a terrorist hostage crisis. No, I was mostly just mad as I considered all the ways Donald Trump and his clownshow administration would have totally screwed it up and probably gotten a bunch of people killed.
The situation this week is that Ukrainian terrorists have hijacked a commercial airliner as it sat on the tarmac in Chicago. The airliner was supposed to be bound for Russia, and thus had a bunch of Russian citizens aboard — and the terrorists aims were to use the passengers as hostages in order to force the Russian military to cede Crimea back to Ukraine. Neither Russia nor Ukraine were interested in defusing the situation — Russia wanted an excuse to invade the rest of Ukraine and Ukraine also wanted a Russian invasion so they could draw attention to what Russia has been doing to them for years.
An extra wrinkle in the whole thing was that Kirkman’s former best friend also just happened to be on the plane, but they’d been estranged for long enough that their relationship wasn’t public knowledge. So Kirkman kept that factoid to himself in hopes that it would prevent the terrorists from finding out and using his old pal as a bargaining chip. And it worked!
Even though I know Trump doesn’t have any real friends, through this whole scenario I couldn’t help but think that if some old pal of Trump’s had been taken hostage in a similar situation he would definitely tweet about it. He would have zero appreciation of the tactical situation, and would want everyone in the world to know that he knew a guy who was being held hostage to score sympathy points.
Kirkman, meanwhile, managed to defuse the situation by making the correct threats based on correct inferences — that Russia had actually supported the terrorists clandestinely and that Ukraine was letting it happen as a high risk, high reward tactical move. Trump, on the other hand, gets his intelligence reports from Fox News (a fact that might actually prevent him from learning his old buddy is a hostage), and so there’s really no telling what he would do or who he would threaten or what threats he would make. Though it would probably be safe to assume that he would probably threaten people who have nothing to do with the situation, like the plane manufacturer or obstructionist Democrats in Congress.
There was one smaller situation in the season 2 premiere that I feel like I should mention: when Kirkman meets with an anti-government author who has fiercely criticized his administration. Kirkman is like “Hey, buddy, keep doing what you’re doing because harsh but legitimate criticisms keep me honest.” Whatever action you can imagine as the opposite of that is probably pretty close to what Trump would do.
I could go episode by episode through the series doing this but, ugh, I’m already miserable enough. In any case, there’s another item to add to the (bottom of the) list of Trump’s offenses against humanity: damaging my ability to enjoy “Designated Survivor,” a show I really like.
21 'Designated Survivor' Characters, Ranked By How Patriotic They Really Are (Photos)
In a time when the government seems full of self-serving politicians and mavericks willing to flout laws and ethics rules in the name of their own betterment, ABC has “Designated Survivor.” The show is about a cabinet secretary who winds up president. Of course, he's an amazing guy and constantly rising to the occasion — because that’s what we love about America. Here’s every “Designated Survivor” character ranked on how much they’re like Tom Kirkman.
ABC
21. Patrick Lloyd (Terry Serpico) The clandestine former military contractor is the money man behind Pax Americana, the militant, alt-right group trying to take over the government. He talks a lot about "taking America back" and, like the real alt-right, that comes off as code for taking it back from people like progressives, minorities and women. Of course, he's just a greedy jerk who thinks America belongs to him and whoever he decides gets to come along.
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20. Nestor Lozano (George Tchortov) Evil assassin super soldier Catalan, AKA Nestor Lozano, is a veteran who considers himself left behind by his country. He's basically the Marvel Cinematic Universe's Winter Soldier, but if he was brainwashed by alt-right propaganda and Pepe the Frog memes from 4chan. As expected, it was pretty satisfying to see him go down after Hannah Wells kicked the crap out of him.
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19. Jay Whitaker (Richard Waugh) We finally find out who the mole in the White House is close to the end of Season 1 — this traitorous old white guy. He's probably got a lot of private Facebook posts about how Democrats are trying ruin the country with chemtrails.
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18. Beth MacLeish (Lara Jean Chorostecki) Even more evil than her husband is Beth MacLeish, who’s obviously the real true believer of the couple. She's willing to kill her husband, and die, for whatever it is these people believe in. That's how much she hates democracy, apparently.
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17. Peter MacLeish (Ashley Zukerman) The Manchurian Candidate vice president was in on the capitol bombing from the start, and was installed to take over the presidency after Lozano assassinated Kirkman. Of all the conspirators, MacLeish at least had some semblance of a conscience — but he still super hates America and wants to pull a coup.
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16. Gov. John Royce (Michael Gaston) In the immediate aftermath of the bombing at the Capitol, Royce basically tried to make Michigan a sovereign nation. He also immediately used his police to target Muslim Americans in his state, making him the kind of fascist who would persecute some Americans to consolidate his own power.
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15. Harris Cochran (Kevin McNally) The former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff couldn't wait to bomb basically whoever was available, until Kirkman fired him. Cochran got a chance to redeem himself a bit in the final moments of the season, but he's still a warmongering jerk who thought the right thing for America was going to war for vengeance, without knowing who to get vengeance on.
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14. Sen. Jack Bowman (Mark Deklin) After Kirkman survived an assassination attempt and started to get the government back up in running, Bowman tried to use the chaos for his own personal gain. Bowman’s the kind of gross politician who personifies the Washington D.C. “swamp” that puts politics ahead of the country.
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13. Charlie Langdon (Peter Outerbridge) Manipulated by the bad guys, the former White House chief of staff survives the Capitol bombing but goes into hiding. While it’s true he didn’t know who to trust, one can’t help feeling like Langdon could have done a lot more for the country if he hadn't just bunkered down when he knew a coup was underway.
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12. Abe Leonard (Rob Morrow) Though the bad guys have been feeding him information to try to distract the administration, Abe Leonard’s heart is in the right place when it comes to informing the public about their government -- the key to democracy. And he cares enough about the country to respect Kirkman's request to hold back on a story, too. He’s also an investigative reporter who briefly works for "Teen Mode," an awesome shoutout to the positive political writing being done at real-world magazine Teen Vogue.
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11. Jason Atwood (Malik Yoba) Dedicated though he was to the FBI, Atwood couldn’t put his country ahead of his family. The conspirators used his kidnapped son to force Atwood to help with their cover story blaming the Capitol bombing on terrorists. It nearly torpedoed the investigation, but Atwood redeemed himself by joining Hannah in finding the real conspirators.
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10. Aaron Shore (Adan Canto) For a while there, it seemed like Aaron could be the traitor in the White House, and he was just cutthroat enough that it was hard to dismiss the possibility. But while he might be a guy more worried about his career than most other things, he was still willing to fall on his sword for his president, and for the good of America.
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9. Rep. Kimball Hookstraten (Virginia Madsen) The only remaining member of Congress, the Speaker of the House was the Republican designated survivor. Although at first she seems like a political animal looking to climb the ladder, she also proves repeatedly that she cares about America as much as her career. Not quite as selfless as some, but Hookstraten is a real public servant, at least.
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8. John Forstell (Reed Diamond) The FBI assistant director called in to investigate Hannah Wells, and then Jason Atwood, took a long time to come around to the conspiracy. But when he finally did, he became a dedicated ally who obviously takes his obligation to the president, and the country, very seriously.
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7. Secret Service Agent Mike Ritter (LaMonica Garrett) As Kirkman’s most reliable and loyal Secret Service agent, Mike becomes a close confidant and a leader of the investigation into the White House conspiracy. It’s clear that Mike is a guy for whom duty, loyalty and country are everything.
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6. Cornelius Moss (Geoff Pierson) President Moss, the guy who sat in the Oval Office before Kirkman’s predecessor, shows up to help out the designated survivor with some of the tougher stuff -- seemingly because he wants to help Kirkman and America through a trying time. Moss is like America’s Dad -- the one who will share a beer with you while telling you straight.
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5. Seth Wright (Kal Penn) Speechwriter Seth often seems to act as the stand-in for the rest of us — the guy is excited to be in his job, excited to be working for America, and excited to be on Kirkman’s staff. “Designated Survivor” starts with a skeptical Seth being inspired by the principled Kirkman, and watching him get excited to help the country is always a good time.
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4. Emily Rhodes (Italia Ricci) It’s clear the reason Emily sticks with Kirkman and fights to become his chief of staff is less about her own advancement than how much she believes in him. Especially when Kirkman becomes president, Emily comes off as a person thrilled to go to her job in the White House and save America in the wake of a tragedy.
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3. Hannah Wells (Maggie Q) A tireless FBI agent convinced from the start of a conspiracy in the government, Wells is the Jack Bauer of "Designated Survivor," but with less "enhanced interrogation." Wells is a tireless FBI agent and investigator, but there's more to it: she's serious about protecting America from treasonous jerks.
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2. Alex Kirkman (Natascha McElhone) The sudden First Lady is a successful lawyer on her own, and just as principles as her husband. Despite being pulled into the political world against her will, like Tom, Alex is all moral compass, all the time. She's always ready to do the right thing for the country.
ABC
1. Tom Kirkman (Kiefer Sutherland) An independent cabinet appointee with no political aspirations, Kirkman suddenly finds himself president. Principled, compassionate, terrified of the implications of the job but obviously capable, Kirkman is every American ideal rolled up into one guy -- and he'll do anything for his country. He makes everyone who spends any time a better American just with his influence. Of course, that means self-proclaimed "patriots" try to assassinate him.
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The selfless dedication to America is strong in this cast of characters — except for the fake patriots who commit treason all the time
In a time when the government seems full of self-serving politicians and mavericks willing to flout laws and ethics rules in the name of their own betterment, ABC has “Designated Survivor.” The show is about a cabinet secretary who winds up president. Of course, he's an amazing guy and constantly rising to the occasion — because that’s what we love about America. Here’s every “Designated Survivor” character ranked on how much they’re like Tom Kirkman.
ABC
ABC
