Jay Leno tagged himself into the “Tonight Show” monologue on Thursday to help Jimmy Fallon warm up his audience. So, basically, politicians and celebrities got a double portion of stinging punchlines.
Here are some of the former NBC late-night host’s best jokes:
“According to the National Enquirer, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are headed for divorce. See, I don’t believe it. I don’t think he would ever leave her behind.”
“Quarterback Colin Kaepernick has done a complete 180. He now says he will stand for the national anthem. He’s now sitting for the games, but he’s standing for the anthem.”
“Caitlin Jenner told Diane Sawyer she’s writing her autobiography. See, I think it’s going to be one of those ‘He said/She said’ things.”
“After Anthony Weiner’s last scandal, he actually called Bill Clinton to apologize. See, that’s when you know that your life has gone off the rails — when your sexual behavior offends Bill Clinton.”
“Speaking of the Clintons, last Saturday, Bill asked Hillary to renew their wedding vows. Yeah, well, it’s something he does every April Fool’s Day.”
“I’m sure you know by now: Donald Trump says he is skipping the White House Correspondent’s Dinner. Of course, New Jersey governor Chris Christie is furious. Christie, as you know, has never skipped a dinner in his life.”
“Let me ask you something: Trump said he won’t throw out the first pitch, he’s skipping the Correspondent’s Dinner — is he that thin-skinned? You know, if that guy was any more of a p—y he could grab himself.”
There was also a good run of economy jokes at the end, which saw Fallon ultimately finish out the segment. Watch the video above.