Jimmy Fallon and His Cod Are the Worst Football Party Guests (Video)

Luke Bryan and Tariq can come tailgate anytime

Last Updated: December 2, 2019 @ 7:20 AM

Now that we’re all recovering from a long weekend of overeating and NFL football, can Jimmy Fallon interest you in some cod? No? Right, Luke Bryan and Tariq Trotter feel the same way.

Last night, following NBC’s “Sunday Night Football,” the “Tonight Show” host, the country star, and the man who also goes by Black Thought performed an ’80s rap about the worst possible football party food. Readers should be aware of what they’re getting from Fallon’s Football Party Patrol.

Watch the video above.

The full lyrics from the Fallon sketch are below, courtesy of “The Tonight Show’s” terrific digital team.

Luke/Tariq
We are the Football Party Patrol
Getting your party out of control! So when you need snacks for the big game,
Call the party patrol, we’ll save the day!

Luke
Got the wings marinating in the fridge

Tariq
With the sauce so hot it’ll burn your lips!

Luke
If you need a drink, well we’ve got ‘em all!

Tariq
Cheese curls, cheese puffs, and of course–

Luke/Tariq
Cheese balls!

Luke
Got a jersey on of your favorite player

Tariq
Got that dip made of seven layers!

Luke/Tariq
All our friends coming to this house,
Just use a napkin, don’t wipe on the couch!

Jimmy
And I brought fifteen pounds of cod,
I caught it in the sea with my fishing rod!
Cod is the perfect football snack,
Loaded with omega-3s, that’s the “good fat”

(speaking) sounds good, right? Guys?

Luke
Cool, but what about the chips and guac?
All I wanna do is eat that guac
I wish I could get paid in guac,
Avocado, jalapeño’s how I like to rock

Tariq
Then bop a jalapeño popper
Queso so hot it’s a popper shocker
Can’t get enough of these football snacks

Luke/Tariq
But it stinks like fish and that’s kinda wack!

Jimmy
That’s on account of the cod I brought
I put it the microwave to make it hot
The bad smell’s from the fishy steam
Crammed with phosphorus and protein

Luke
Maybe we can put the cod in the freezer?

Jimmy
Or we could eat it, that’d be easier!

Tariq
How about we put all the cod outside?

Jimmy
Sure, then I’ll bring more cod inside!

Luke
Maybe we could put the cod in the trash?

Jimmy
No! Nobody’s going to put the cod in the trash! Everybody is going to eat the cod because I brought it, and that’s the end of it! Kay? If someone brings a dish to a party, you try it. Ya try it! One bite! That’s the rule. That’s the party patrol politeness rule!

Tariq
So maybe we were too hard on the cod

Jimmy
Now you’re on your way to a killer bod

Luke
A football snack fresh from the sea

Jimmy
Dense white flesh? Yeah that’s for me!

Luke/Tariq/Jimmy
We are the Football Party Patrol,
Getting your party out of control!
So if you need snacks for your squad
Call the party patrol, and we’ll bring the cod!

This one kinda reminds us of another classic:

Thank goodness for YouTube.

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