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Kimmel Gives Tips for Enjoying St Patrick’s Day During Coronavirus in Quarantine Monologue (Video)

”Jimmy Kimmel Live“ host joins fellow late night host Stephen Colbert in putting out social distancing content

Last Updated: March 18, 2020 @ 6:09 AM

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” might be on hiatus because of the coronavirus pandemic, but on Tuesday Kimmel emerged from quarantine with a new monologue full of tips for how people can enjoy St. Patrick’s Day despite, you know, all this.

Similar to the bathtub monologue Stephen Colbert surprised fans with on Monday, Kimmel’s monologue was in many ways just the same topical jokes he’d normally deliver while wearing a suit and standing in front of the studio audience.

He wished viewers well in “our new post-apocalyptic world,” ran down what it’s been like for him the last few days, and even took a moment for one of his favorite monologue topics, how much he does not particularly care for Donald Trump. “Yesterday, our president, Donald Trump, gave himself a 10 out of 10 for the way he’s handled this situation,” Kimmel joked. “Gave himself a 10. Which, incidentally, is the same amount of testing kits that are available in the United States right now.”

Then came the ideas for how people can celebrate the holiday.

“First, you put on a festively covered shirt,” Kimmel said, as the camera panned down to reveal he was wearing a green Guinness shirt with a toucan on it.

“Next, this is a great idea, get some food coloring,” Kimmel continued, “and you can dye a bottle of hand sanitizer green.”

“You could dress your kids like leprechauns, and try to catch them,” Kimmel joked. “And, of course, you could get drunk,” at which point he pulled a bottle of Bailey’s into view.

But the best way, Kimmel said, was to “rewatch the greatest local news story of all time,” a purported leprechaun sighting in Alabama. Cue footage of the blessed event.

Kimmel indicated he’ll probably post another video on Wednesday and announced that he’ll be donating to a different charitable cause every day during the quarantine, starting with No Kid Hungry, and he asked viewers who are able to do the same.

“The only way we’re gonna get through this is by sticking together,” Kimmel concluded, “while of course remaining at a CDC-approved distance of six feet apart.”

Watch the clip above.