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John Mulaney Says It’s Time for ‘Perverted Garnish’ Mistletoe to ‘Be #MeToo-ed’ (Video)

“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” gets it too

Last Updated: December 3, 2019 @ 7:26 AM

Staunch defenders of the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside” might want to stop reading right now. On Monday’s “Tonight Show,” guest John Mulaney told Jimmy Fallon #TimesUp for “perverted garnish” mistletoe, which should be the next Christmas favorite to “be #MeToo-ed.”

The strong stance came during the NBC late-night show’s “Wheel of Opinions” game, where everything is extremely sincere and intended to be taken completely seriously. The mistletoe sendup followed Mulaney’s feelings on beloved children’s tale “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

“If any decoration needs to be #MeToo-ed, the mistletoe is …” Mulaney began on the plant, which nearly sent Fallon to the floor. “Like, walking through a doorway with another person is weird enough, I don’t need this perverted garnish over the door.”

“I don’t wanna see it! I don’t wanna hear about it!” he said.

Yeah, Merry Christmas, everyone. Mulaney also took on — and took down — fingerless gloves.

“They seem to be favored by crooks in movies,” the comedian said. “Now, I’m no forensic scientist, but I imagine it’s exactly these parts of the hands that you want to cover up if you’re a crook.”

The 2010’s was next, and last. Mulaney used an airport anecdote to sum up the decade.

Watch the video above.