John Oliver Details the Drawbacks of American Independence on July 4th (Video)

“You speak like you just burned your tongue on a hot apple pie,” host of HBO’s “Last Week Tonight” says of American accents in special holiday message

Last Updated: July 5, 2016 @ 8:46 AM

John Oliver‘s HBO show “Last Week Tonight” may be on hiatus until July 24, but the British comic delivered a brief message to fans to recognize Independence Day.

“Or as they call where I’m from, July the 4th — and that’s it,” Oliver began.

“Since 1776, you’ve done very well as a nation, but it might be worth thinking about just a handful of things that you gave up when kicking Britain unceremoniously out of this country,” he said.

He first noted the weirdness of American accents. “You speak like you just burned your tongue on a hot apple pie,” he said.

“You are also missing out on bowler hats,” he said, “which are perfect for dressing your head like a circumcised velvet penis.”

Oliver went on to note America’s sacrifices in terms of cuisine (“meat pies”), pessimism and weather (“Just look at the British sky itself — even the sun is incapable of asserting there”).

He then concluded with a jab at Queen Elizabeth, whom he dubbed “an elderly woman who frowns for a living.

Watch the full video above.

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