John Oliver says the rule about not wearing white after Labor Day is a good one — but that we need to add to the list of things not to do after Labor Day.
“Let’s stop saying ‘That’s interesting,’ when we mean ‘That is not interesting,'” the host of “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” said in an online exclusive. “From now on, when someone tells you a boring story, simply say, ‘Bless you,’ like you were just sneezed on, because that is what hearing about someone’s travel delay feels like.”
“Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” doesn’t return to HBO until Sept. 25, but he still graciously popped up online this long weekend to give us some post-Labor Day guidance — and also to list things we shouldn’t do after Thanksgiving or New Year’s Eve.
One thing he’d like everyone to stop? Winking.
“And while we’re at it, from Labor Day forward, no more winking, ever,” Oliver said. “A wink is a gesture that is somehow both deeply sexual and incredibly unsexy. Like licking a pine cone. ‘I think I know how you want me to take that, but I’m profoundly not on board. Or am I?”
Of course, it’s still okay to lick pine cones — but only before Labor Day.
You can watch the full video above.