John Oliver Wants Bread Pants: ‘How Is This Not a Thing?’ (Video)

“Last Week Tonight” host is off for Memorial Day, but offers a special online video

“Last Week Tonight” host John Oliver would like to know why bread pants are not a thing.

Oliver was off for Memorial Day weekend on Sunday, but helped online fans cope with a short video segment posted on YouTube. Tweaking his normal segment, “How Is This Still a Thing?” Oliver debuted the brand-new feature, “How Is This Not a Thing?”

“While there are many things in this world that should no longer be things, there are also many non-things that should absolutely be thingified,” he explained.

Among the things Oliver wishes were things: A “Blue Man Group” cast entirely with dogs, and a safe word to escape from small talk. He’d also like a non-sleazy wink and Ambien for daytime.

But what he’d like most of all are bread pants — which are like sweatpants, but different.

“If you’re wearing sweatpants you’re probably concurrently eating something messy like a big plate of nachos or a fist full of hummus,” he said.

“Now, with bread pants, if you spill, you don’t wash the pants,” he continued. “You simply tear a piece off the leg and you eat that too. How are those not a thing?”

Be sure to get some bread pants for your Memorial cookout or picnic — as soon as they become a thing.

Watch the video above.