A guest “licensed in unfunny” joined Stephen Colbert to help him be more “balanced” when talking about Donald Trump on “The Late Show” Monday night, but the scales couldn’t be stopped from tipping against the president.
Former “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart joined Colbert on stage in response to Trump’s recent tweet addressing “unfunny” late night hosts and demanding for equal time. Stewart was supposed to provide balance to Colbert’s usual anti-Trump jokes, but ended up only being able to compliment Trump for “not being a cannibal.”
When Colbert tossed over to Stewart to say something positive, he whispered in his ear, “Can I have more time?”
Finally he mustered, “Donald Trump… is not a cannibal.”
“Given the choice between having hot lava poured into my pee hole and Donald Trump being president,” Stewart managed next. “I choose lav…” Colbert interrupted, reminding him to be positive, and Stewart finished “… the latter.”
Colbert and Stewart managed to get in their own jab at Harvey Weinstein, when Stewart tried to convince Colbert that Trump is “great for women.”
“Great?” Colbert asked.
“Good,” Stewart replied. When Colbert asked again, he said, “Better than Harvey Weinstein.”
“I’ll have to fact check that,” Colbert replied.
Stewart really went off over Trump’s “calm before the storm” comment last week. He gathered reporters to take a photo with several military leaders, and when reporters asked him what he meant, he said “you’ll find out.” Many are concerned he was talking about North Korea.
“What the f— is wrong with this guy?” Stewart said, unable to comprehend Trump’s cryptic remark, and also noting that there are “literal storms”–Hurricanes Harvey and Maria–whose aftermath is still affecting thousands of people.
“Why would you… ‘You’ll find out’? A cliffhanger, surrounded by military people?” Stewart continued, comparing Trump’s comment to one of Chris Harrison’s cliffhangers on “The Bachelor.” “You’ll find out? Oh, will Trump give humanity the rose? Will civilization make it to the fantasy suite? And ‘calm before the storm’? Is that what he was saying? Calm before the storm?”
“How is all this not the storm? This is all the storm,” he went on. “And what kind of sociopath would use that terminology while people are still cleaning up from literal storms?”
Finally, Stewart asked Colbert to be the one to say nice things about Trump, but Colbert also needed to ask for more time. Eventually, he could only agree that POTUS is not a cannibal.
Watch the full clip above.