Photos courtesy of Andy Holtzman; Getty Images (inset)
Andy Holtzman says he has no “ill will” toward the man he said sexually assaulted him when he was 27.
Holtzman was a young film program coordinator at the New York Shakespeare Festival’s Public Theater in 1981 when he said that Kevin Spacey, an up-and-coming actor, walked into his office, pinned him to a desk and groped him.
“I want him to get well,” Holtzman, now a 64-year-old event marketer, told TheWrap as part of a report on 12 #MeToo accusers and what has happened to them since they came forward. “He’s not well. Anyone who has been in the closet is not healthy.”
As Holtzman tells it, Spacey came into his office, which had a spare desk and a phone for actors and other theater employees to make a phone call. “I was just getting off the phone myself and before I began to get up, he pushed me down on the desk and he was on top of me,” Holtzman said.
Holtzman, who was openly gay and comfortable with his sexuality at the time, said he wasn’t into Spacey, who at 22 was younger than him. Not to mention, Spacey hadn’t so much as said “hello” before lunging at him.
“I pushed him off and I said, ‘This is my place of work, what are you doing?'” Holtzman recalled telling Spacey. “At this point, he straightened out his shirt, backed off and pulled off of me, very angry, grabbed his bag and stormed out of the office. And I was sitting there, not sure what had just happened.” (Spacey’s lawyer did not respond to Holtzman’s accusations).
“Assault is sudden. Before you know it, the situation has gone from green to red,” he said. “As protection you bury it and put it away… Now I am forced to look at it — the good, the bad and the ugly.”
Holtzman said he didn’t report the incident at the time, worried Spacey might retaliate. For years, he wrote it off as just another “good story you tell at dinner.” When a USA Today reporter called in November, he agreed to tell her his Spacey story — which was the earliest known case at the time.
Though he insists he wasn’t traumatized by the incident, he has come to realize the “good story” he had told to a few friends over the years wasn’t all that good after all.
How have you been?
The past nine months have brought this up in surreal details. I’ve dealt with it very superficially over the years. But having the conversations with the USA Today reporter and on Facebook really forces you to face it in a way that you don’t want to do.
What was the reaction to your story?
I was kind of blown away by the outpouring of support. The vast majority were really behind me. It made me feel good. When something like this happens — and I don’t think it matters if you’re a man or a woman, old or young — you blame yourself first.
When it first happened, I asked myself, “What did I do?” And that was the worst part of it. Not what he did, but why he did it, and I immediately blamed myself and it took some work to figure out that I didn’t do a goddamn thing. I was just there. I was just a moment for him.
Why did you decide to come forward with your story?
I came out at the height of the #MeToo movement and I agonized over whether I should tell my story in that kind of public forum. But I decided I should. It was quick, but clearly it was memorable, because for many, many years it was in my head… It must have affected me in some ways I’m not aware of because it didn’t make a lot of sense.
You were one of the few men who came forward during #MeToo. Why do you think that is? To a degree it’s tough because there’s a vulnerability thing in there that can also be read as weakness, and no one wants to feel too vulnerable… I think I was always needing to get to know someone before I could allow any kind of intimacy…I don’t know if it has anything to do with what happened or not, but for whatever that’s worth, I was not acting like most of my peers who just went for it. I really needed to know the person that I was dealing with after that.
Do you have any regrets? I did have regrets. They floated in and out. I questioned myself, why did I do this?
When the story came out I felt a bit used. I was told my story was going to be part of a larger story. But the reporter made the piece about me and that was bothersome… I think that got me more attention and it made me look like I was looking for more attention that I was looking for. Some friends said to me, “Was that really necessary to talk about?”
Spacey was criticized for coming out in his initial response to sexual misconduct accusations against him. How did you feel about that? I would never judge anyone on how they choose to come out. Any gay man and woman knows it’s a difficult thing. But I did feel a great deal of anger that Spacey tried to use coming out as a way to avoid taking responsibility for what he did over the years. I think it was absolutely wrong and a little bit desperate.
How do you feel about him? I feel no ill will toward the man. I want him to get well. He’s not well. Anyone who has been in the closet is not healthy. A man his age, who has achieved so much, that means there’s a lot there to peel. I don’t want to carry that grudge. I do want him to get to the point where he can speak out and speak to what he did and why he was doing it and try to help others.
His latest movie, “Billionaire Boys Club,” which was shot before the accusations came to light made a paltry $126 on opening day. Was there any schadenfreude?
It was surprising to me that I was heartened by the fact that people do understand that there is a price to pay for what he did… I wouldn’t be human if there wasn’t a touch of that.
Several Silence Breakers thought Louis C.K.’s recent return to standup comedy was premature. Do you agree?
A person’s gotta do what a person’s gotta do…. If these celebs think their audience is ready for their second act return, then they do have every right to try to stage their comeback. And I have every right to accept their return…or not.
It’s all in the context of what is said, how it’s said and how it is done. For me personally, I would take these returns on an individual basis — and look below the surface.
11 TV Cast Upheavals, From Kevin Spacey in 'House of Cards' to Clayne Crawford in 'Lethal Weapon' (Photos)
"Lethal Weapon"
Actor Seann William Scott took over the role of Martin Riggs for the show's third season, which got the green light from Fox on May 13. A representative from Warner Bros. Television said the studio "decided not to renew Clayne Crawford’s contract for ‘Lethal Weapon'" after reports of bad behavior on set, described as "complaints of emotional abuse and creating a hostile environment."
Crawford apologized last month and wished the "Lethal Weapon" team luck on their third season without him. “To my cast and crew – CONGRATULATIONS on season 3!” Crawford wrote. “To the Fans – Thank you for the overwhelming support and love. Riggs was a dream role and the experience will live with me forever. My heart is full. Good Luck nxt season!!” he said on Instagram over the weekend.
"I take great pride in treating everyone in life with dignity and kindness," the 40-year-old actor said in April. "I am very grateful for my job, and I work extremely hard at it. I have a responsibility to do good work for my coworkers, my family, and my home state, and most especially for the fans. I hope they will stick with me and stick with the show."
Fox bosses said the decision to move ahead with a new season without Crawford was not their decision, but that of Warner Bros.
"Ultimately, our partners at Warner Bros. come to us about three weeks ago to tell us that they could not deliver ‘Lethal Weapon’ as we’ve known it before, that there were some real challenges in the cast. They thought long and hard about it. I know that was not their first choice,” said Dana Walden, Chairmen and CEO, Fox Television Group.
Ray Mickshaw/FOX
"House of Cards"
After star Kevin Spacey was accused of sexual misconduct, production was delayed and the actor's character was eventually written out of the show. Netflix chief content officer Ted Sarandos announced in December that a sixth and final season of the critically acclaimed drama "will not involve Kevin Spacey," but will feature lead actress Robin Wright.
"From day one, I have denied the outrageous allegations against me. Law enforcement investigated these claims more than 15 years ago and determined them to be without merit," he said in a statement to TheWrap at the time. "I have never been charged with a crime, let alone convicted of one. In this country, you are presumed innocent until proven guilty."
Netflix
"The Four"
Music executive Charlie Walk exited this singing competition, on which he was a judge, after he was accused of sexual harassment by a former employee. Walk did not attend the Fox show's finale, and will not be returning.
"I do not want my presence to be a distraction. Needless to say this is very upsetting," Walk said in a statement in February. "Although I continue to support the ‘Me Too’ movement, there has been an extreme rush to judgment against me in this particular case which is unfair and inconsistent with anything that even actually happened. I welcome any investigation so that in short order these unfounded and hurtful accusations can be put to rest."
"Gossip Girl" alum Ed Westwick was replaced by Christian Cooke after the actor was accused by three women of sexual assault (Westwick has denied the accusations). The premiere of the drama was canceled in November after accusations surfaced, and the show was pulled from the BBC. Filming for another BBC drama featuring Westwick, “White Gold,” was also stalled at the time.
Reshoots with Cooke went "smoothly," according to The Guardian, and the drama finally premiered on BBC One on Easter Sunday.
Jeff Spicer/Getty Images
"The Walking Dead"
Chandler Riggs, who played fan-favorite character Carl Grimes, left the show this season in a drawn-out and heartbreaking death-by-zombie bite. Fans were shocked when they learned his fate. "I didn’t know that this many people connected to him like on such an extreme level,” Riggs said of his character in an interview with TheWrap. Carl's death on the long-standing AMC drama caught fans off guard, mainly, because his character is still very much alive and a large part of the comics on which the show is based.
AMC
"Grey's Anatomy"
News of longtime cast members Sarah Drew and Jessica Capshaw leaving the medical drama came as a shock to fans in March. After some reports that star Ellen Pompeo's behemoth salary led to the actresses being cut, both Pompeo and showrunner Krista Vernoff said the idea was misleading.
“The decision to make changes to our cast was a creative one,” Vernoff said. “The only thing as constant on 'Grey’s Anatomy' as Ellen Pompeo is our penchant for reinvention. It is a part of our success and what keeps the show exciting. We love these actresses and we love these characters and it felt true and right creatively to wrap up their stories. And that is the whole story.”
"Harry Potter" alum Frank Dillane, who plays Nick Clark on the "Walking Dead" spinoff, said that Season 4 felt like the right time to move on from the show. (Spoiler!) Nick died in an April 29 episode after being shot by Charlie, the child spy of the Vultures group.
"I just felt like the beginning of this season kind of felt like the end of an era with this show. And television is hard work, and you have to shoot a lot," the British actor said in an interview with Entertainment Weekly. "I also missed Europe very much. I’m not American, so after a while I get quite homesick and all of those things. I also felt like we had achieved what needed to be achieved in the first few seasons, so I thought it was time to keep moving."
Combined with new cast members, like "Walking Dead" star Lennie James, Maggie Grace, Garret Dillahunt and Jenna Elfman, Nick's death marks the whittling away of the Clark family and crew on the spinoff show.
AMC
"NCIS"
Long-time "NCIS" star Pauley Perrette announced in October that she's leaving the show after 15 seasons. "So it is true that I am leaving NCIS... There have been all kinds of false rumors as to why," she tweeted last fall. She also threw cold water on reports on why she left, adding that, no, she does not have a skin care line, nor does she have beef with the network.
CBS
"Silicon Valley"
Comedian T.J. Miller left the HBO sitcom at the end of last season, and his only legacy in Season 5 are the pig ashes Jian Yang uses to convince the court he's dead. Showrunner Alec Berg told TheWrap last June that Miller's exit "was for the best" and that he thought it was time for the actor to move on. Miller told TheWrap that the cliffhanger ending to Season 4 felt like the perfect time to leave. But Miller's exit has been followed with accusations of sexual harassment against him (that he's denied), and his co-stars said he was often late, would fall asleep on set or even show up drunk.
HBO
Jeffrey Tambor was barred from returning to Amazon’s series “Transparent” for Season 5, the streamer said in mid-February.
The decision came after the conclusion of an investigation into accusations that the Emmy-winning actor sexually harassed three women, including Tambor's ex-assistant and transgender actress Van Barnes, “Transparent” actress Trace Lysette, and makeup artist Tamara Delbridge. Tambor denied the accusations.
Amazon
1 of 11
These shows have had major cast shakeups in recent months
"Lethal Weapon"
Actor Seann William Scott took over the role of Martin Riggs for the show's third season, which got the green light from Fox on May 13. A representative from Warner Bros. Television said the studio "decided not to renew Clayne Crawford’s contract for ‘Lethal Weapon'" after reports of bad behavior on set, described as "complaints of emotional abuse and creating a hostile environment."
Crawford apologized last month and wished the "Lethal Weapon" team luck on their third season without him. “To my cast and crew – CONGRATULATIONS on season 3!” Crawford wrote. “To the Fans – Thank you for the overwhelming support and love. Riggs was a dream role and the experience will live with me forever. My heart is full. Good Luck nxt season!!” he said on Instagram over the weekend.
"I take great pride in treating everyone in life with dignity and kindness," the 40-year-old actor said in April. "I am very grateful for my job, and I work extremely hard at it. I have a responsibility to do good work for my coworkers, my family, and my home state, and most especially for the fans. I hope they will stick with me and stick with the show."
Fox bosses said the decision to move ahead with a new season without Crawford was not their decision, but that of Warner Bros.
"Ultimately, our partners at Warner Bros. come to us about three weeks ago to tell us that they could not deliver ‘Lethal Weapon’ as we’ve known it before, that there were some real challenges in the cast. They thought long and hard about it. I know that was not their first choice,” said Dana Walden, Chairmen and CEO, Fox Television Group.