After 2 decades as the top Democrat in the House of Representatives, including 8 years as Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi announced Thursday that she won’t be seeking a leadership role when the new congress is sworn in in January.
And Jimmy Kimmel joked on Thursday night that it’s because Pelosi has a more lucrative job opportunity: OnlyFans. The joke being that Pelosi will be joining the website known for providing a way for regular people to earn money through virtual sex work.
“Republicans yesterday officially won enough seats to regain control of the House, which means they’re getting right to work, shifting focus from inflation, and climate change, and a woman’s right to choose – to what Americans really care about — Hunter Biden’s laptop,” Kimmel said during his monologue. He’s not joking here by the way, Republicans really do plan to attempt yet another pointless investigation of President Biden’s troubled son.
“A group of House Republicans announced today, they plan to investigate Hunter and the whole Biden family, to determine whether his business activities ‘compromised national security,'” Kimmel continued. “The highly classified documents down in the Mar-a-Lago rumpus room, no problem. But Hunter’s crackhead photo stream, that, we need to get to the bottom of right away!”
Kimmel is of course referring to Trump’s theft of classified documents in violation of federal law, something he’s still being investigated for. And Kimmel is referring to videos, taken when Hunter Biden was struggling with several addictions, which were illegally obtained from a laptop he owned and then leaked.
“They’re also talking about investigating Dr. Fauci, for what, I have no idea, and neither do they, by the way. But they’ll come up with something I’m sure. It’s ridiculous. It’s childish,” Kimmel added.
Then he started talking about Pelosi: “You know, we learned today that outgoing Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is not going to seek a leadership role in the next session of Congress. She’s 82, she said it’s time to start an OnlyFans account.”
Kimmel then continued by talking about Kevin McCarthy, the Republican House Minority Leader who has been nominated to become Speaker when Republicans re-take the house in January. “That’s right. So the new Speaker of the House will be, come January, will be Trump suckup Kevin McCarthy, a man who always, somehow looks like he’s in the first half of a Cialis commercial.”
And of course, Kimmel also noted a frustrating fact about the upcoming divided government: “Democrats control the Senate, Republicans have the House – which means we’ve got an exciting two years of non-stop fighting ahead.”
Watch the whole monologue above.