Jimmy Kimmel had the appropriate response to the ginned up panic over the possibility that powerful narcotics might be slipped into Halloween baskets this year, by reimagining the classic “Peanuts” Halloween special “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.”
The gag was part of a larger segment of Kimmel’s monologue in which he mocked Georgia U.S. Senate candidate Herschel Walker.
So during his monologue, Kimmel played a recent clip of Walker pushing a conspiracy theory with no real basis in fact that politicians of both parties have unfortunately taken seriously: that cartels will be disguising fentanyl pills as popular Halloween candy. To be clear, this is only the most recent iteration of panics surrounding Halloween candy — and as Newsweek notes, none of them have been true. In fact, there are no recorded instances of a child being killed by Halloween candy tampering. Ever. (Read more about it here.)
Herschel’s version of the conspiracy theory involves China and Mexico colluding to do this on purpose. Again, there is no evidence to support this and again, none of the previous Halloween candy panics have panned out. So, after the clip played, Kimmel said, “very compelling statement about Mexico and China, from a man who couldn’t locate Mexico, or China, on a map of only Mexico and China.”
“Halloween is a scary time for Herschel Walker, because when kids show up at his house he’s not sure if they want candy or child support,” Kimmel continued. Then he got to the “Peanuts” gag.
“Herschel Walker is not the first person or persons to float this theory about drugs being hidden in children’s trick-or-treat bags. I mean, who can forget the classic scene from ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.”
Then Kimmel rolled a clip from the scene where Charlie Brown and his friends are discussing their Halloween haul. In the original special, everyone gets candy except Charlie Brown, who instead got a rock. In the Kimmel version, Charlie Brown says, “I got a rock… of crack cocaine.”
“Charlie may have been a blockhead but he was not a crackhead,” Kimmel joked.
“You know, I looked up the effects of fentanyl on the DEA website,” Kimmel added. “They include sedation, drowsiness, dizziness, and confusion. Which sounds a lot like Herschel Walker to me. And of course he’s worried about the children of America. Half of them are his.”
There’s more to the monologue, including a whole lot of time spent talking about the latest released recordings of Donald Trump. You can watch the whole thing above now.