During his monologue on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Jimmy Kimmel spent a couple of minutes talking about Donald Trump’s upcoming book of photos from his time in the White House. Then he imagined what the book will actually be like, and honestly it checks out.
So first, Trump’s new book, called “Our Journey Together,” comes out in December. Costing an absolutely hilarious $75 dollars for the base book, and $230 if you want a copy autographed by (we’re guessing) someone who can do a good job faking Trump’s signature, the book features photos Trump “handpicked,” accompanied by Trump-composed captions.
Again, it will cost $75.
Anyway, Kimmel noted that the title feels a bit odd. “Was that a journey?” he joked. “Felt more like an ordeal than a journey.”
“The book was published by Donald Trump Jr, his son. DJTJ claims his dad picked every single photo — and wrote all the captions himself,” Kimmel said. “Which is exactly how my son’s preschool teacher describes his projects to his mother.”
“Basically, Trump — what he’s done here is he’s published an Instagram photo dump,” Kimmel continued, joking that the book will include some of Trump’s more humiliating photos, like “Trump awkwardly sitting at a tiny desk” and “Trump making a who-farted face next to the Queen.”
Then Kimmel brought up those supposedly Trump-written captions, at which point he showed a fake version of the book, with imagined Trump captions. We’ll list them below:
“Many losers are too scared to look directly into an eclipse. Not your favorite President!” — This was of course a reference to this.
“Me and Whoopi from ‘The View’” — this was actually Trump standing next to Lil’ Wayne.
“Here’s me hitting the game-winning 3 pointer during Game 7 of the NBA Finals.” — This was a photo of Trump throwing rolls of paper towels at victims of Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico back in 2017.
“Bad dogs don’t get treats” — This was a photo of Trump looking angrily at Mike Pence.
“I can’t believe I ate the WHOLE thing!” — This was a photo of Trump serving McDonald’s to college athletes at the White House.
And finally “Nice.” — This was just a close-up on Ivanka Trump from behind. You know why.
Watch the whole monologue above. The jokes we talk about kick in just before the 5 minute mark.