Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem failed to correctly define habeas corpus during a senate hearing this week, so on Wednesday night, Stephen Colbert took a guess on how she and her colleagues define other legal rights incorrectly.
For those unfamiliar, habeas corpus is the constitutional right of due process, in person, in front of a court or judge. But appearing at a hearing on Tuesday, Noem defined it incorrectly as a “right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country.”
“No! No. No, that is extra large wrong,” Colbert retorted.
From there, the CBS host began imitating Noem, guessing at her answers to what other legal rights are.
“Well, the first amendment means Donald Trump is always first in line. The second amendment means he always gets seconds,” he joked. “And no one gets Miranda Rights because he’s more of a Charlotte.”
The late night host also made fun of Noem for requesting a $50 million luxury jet for her personal use, as she flies around the world for photo ops at immigration raids.
“First Trump now Noem? Come on, guy, what’s wrong with Greyhound?” he said. “You know their motto: ‘Greyhound: The bathroom door is meant to swing open like that!’”
You can watch Stephen Colbert’s full monologue in the video above.
