Jay Leno’s final primetime monologue jokes below; more on the show later.
Zinger: "Guys on Viagra have had erections that lasted longer" than "The Jay Leno Show."
(In caps, because, quite frankly, that’s how NBC sent ‘em to us. Deal.)
WHERE WERE YOU THE LAST FIVE MONTHS? THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.
THIS IS OUR LAST "JAY LENO SHOW" KEV. THE SHOW WAS SUPPOSED TO LAST TWO YEARS. BUT MY SENTENCE WAS REDUCED TO FIVE MONTHS FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR.
WE WERE ON THE AIR FIVE MONTHS. IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY I WAS TELLING NBC, “THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK.”
PEOPLE SAY, “WHAT HAS CHANGED THE MOST IN FIVE MONTHS?” I’D HAVE TO SAY HEIDI MONTAG.
FIVE MONTHS! DO YOU REALIZE THAT GUYS ON VIAGRA HAVE HAD ERECTIONS THAT LASTED LONGER THAN THAT?