Leslie Jones’ Olympics Commentary Greatest Hits: ‘I Can’t Do This S- With a Floatie’

Women’s artistic swimming during the summer events left the “SNL” alum awestruck

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The Tokyo Olympics have come to a close, and while NBC’s coverage disgruntled some viewers, Twitter provided one guaranteed way to make it more entertaining: get Leslie Jones to do commentary. Sure, there was cursing – lots of it – but you gotta give her points for honesty. And so, we salute the “SNL” alum with a look at her 2021 Summer Olympics Greatest Hits.

Over the past two weeks, the comic actress and hardcore sports fan spot-welded herself to her couch and posted videos on Twitter of moments throughout the games, providing her own humorous commentary as she observed the athletic feats onscreen in a state of perpetual disbelief. “Is this really necessary?” she asked during a highlight reel of a mountain bike race. Pointing to one athlete chasing after his bike as it slides down a hill, she said, “That’s me.”

Before the closing ceremony airs on NBC tonight, here are some of Jones’ best cracks:

On karate: “I’m not f—in’ with none of these chicks! You see how she swang that foot around?! I’m not f—in’ with her. This is your parking spot now!”

On dressage: “Hey! Hey! Does the horse get a medal? ‘Cause they’re doing all the work. She ain’t doin’ anything ridin’ that motherf—–“

On artistic swimming: “So this is basically Cirque d’Soleil [sic] in the pool? Look at this s–t. These motherf—–s are moonwalking in the water. Do you know what type of body muscle you need to have to be able to control…listen, I can’t do this s–t with a floatie.”

On the triathlon: “You making me run, swim AND bike? How do you not get a participation medal for that? To me it’s almost selfish to be that athletic.”

On Simone Biles’ balance beam routine: “How is that an ‘easier dismount’? I’m…I’m confused. OK, and did you see the look on her face when she came off? She just looks happy that she survived and I’m mad at you motherf—–s for making her do that. And she probably did it for herself so she could have one more time on the beam, but f–k y’all for making her do that. I’m happy that she’s happy but I’m more happy that she’s safe. Good job, girl.”


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