Jimmy Kimmel reacted Wednesday night to Border Czar Tom Homan‘s announcement this week that 700 ICE agents are being sent home from Minnesota, telling his viewers, “Only 2,000 more to go.”
“Never in my lifetime did I imagine that we’d be celebrating a troop withdrawal from Minnesota,” the “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” host added. “But 700 agents, as we speak, are packing up their 48″ waist, 28″ inseam Carhartt pants and their XXL Punisher T-shirts and heading home. Get ready, 700 moms of ICE agents. Your boys are coming back to the basement.”
Kimmel later pivoted to the release of Amazon’s “Melania” documentary and its reported opening weekend box office gross. “A lot of people, myself included, have been wondering how this movie managed to sell $7 million worth of tickets last weekend when almost every theater seemed to be empty leading up to the release,” he said. “There are reports now suggesting that those beautiful box office numbers may have been boosted by bulk ticket purchases that were handed out to people for free.”
“If you don’t believe this is the kind of thing they would do, you may be forgetting that, back in 2019, the Republican National Committee bought $100,000 worth of Don Jr.’s book to put in swag bags to make it a New York Times bestseller,” the comedian noted. “Don Jr.’s book debuted No. 1 on the New York Times bestseller list, despite the fact that no one has ever read it.”
Kimmel was not done trashing “Melania,” pointing to the film’s online critics and audience scores. “‘Melania’ has a score of 5% on Rotten Tomatoes from the critics. That is very low. To put that in perspective, that is 1% lower than ‘Gigli,’” he said. “But that’s just what the losers and hater critics had to say. The audience score for ‘Melania’ is 99% positive, which is 1% higher than ‘The Godfather.’”
“We need to get to the bottom of this,” Kimmel insisted. “Send in [National Intelligence Director] Tulsi Gabbard and the FBI! Seize the ticket machines, the popcorn buckets, the box office receipts at every multiplex in America!” It was not just “Melania’s” box office numbers Kimmel questioned, either. The late night host also took issue with the DOJ’s latest Epstein Files release.
Specifically, Kimmel called out the redacted names on emails that seem to clearly suggest illegal behavior. “Why are those names blacked out?” he inquired. “I get that probably a lot of the people whose names are in there didn’t do anything criminal, but why are the names on those emails blacked out?”
“Is it possible that [FBI director] Kash Patel doesn’t know what the word transparency means?” Kimmel mused. “Maybe he’s confusing it with opaque?”
