Jimmy Kimmel seized on reports of FBI director Kash Patel’s alleged concerns about his future within the Trump administration, joking on Monday night that the bananas he bought at Trader Joe’s might end up lasting longer than Patel’s current position.
Kimmel’s comments came in response to a story published by The Atlantic that Patel is not only paranoid about his future as FBI director, but has also become known behind closed doors for unexplained absences and excessive bouts of drinking. Patel has vehemently denied the report and filed a $250 million lawsuit against The Atlantic over the story.
“Patel is reportedly deeply concerned that he’s about to get fired, which… why? I don’t know, does this look like a paranoid guy to you?” Kimmel jokingly asked before showing a close-up of the FBI director. “Man, oh man. We all thought Pete Hegseth was the Trump poster boy for drinking too much. All of a sudden, Kash is like, ‘Hold my beer — and my martini, while you’re at it.’”
“Which do you think will last longer: Kash Patel as head of the FBI or the bananas I bought at Trader Joe’s yesterday?” he then asked. The speculation comes in the wake of a slew of recent Trump administration oustings, including former Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem and former U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi.
Elsewhere in his Monday night monologue, the comedian zeroed in on Trump for his continued public handling of the war in Iran.
“This is all very weird, especially for those of us who grew up in the ’80s. Did you ever imagine you would be more likely to believe the Ayatollah than the President of the United States?” Kimmel asked. “Or that we would be hearing the words, ‘The Strait of Hormuz,’ 12 times a day?”
“Our whole lives, the Strait of Hormuz has been so wide open we didn’t even know it existed,” the “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” host observed. “We put Trump in charge, and in eight weeks, it’s been blocked more times than Melania’s bedroom door.” He later pushed back on yet another one of Trump’s social media threats against Iran, in which the president declared that there would be “no more Mr. Nice Guy.”
“That was Mr. Nice Guy?” Kimmel incredulously concluded. “Goodbye, Mr. Nice Guy. Hello, Señor Senile Psychopath.”
