With 18 Olympic gold medals to his name, it may seem like Michael Phelps has the world at his feet.
However, the star athlete admitted during an interview to air on Wednesday’s “Today” show that he lost the will to live at the height of his struggles with alcohol.
“I think my mom was happy that I was alive because I think she saw the sort of the path that I was going down,” the 30-year-old told NBC’s Matt Lauer in a preview of the episode. “I think a lot of people close to me saw it. And I was going fast. Fast. Honestly, at one point I felt like I didn’t want to see another day.”
In November 2004, Phelps was arrested for DUI and sentenced to serve 18 months’ probation, fined $250, ordered to speak to high school students about drinking and driving, and to attend a Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) meeting.
The incident didn’t deter him, however, and in February 2009 a photo of him smoking a bong resulted in the loss of Kellogg as a sponsor, as well as a three-month suspension by USA Swimming. September 2014 saw another DUI arrest — and yet another suspension from swimming — after which he checked into rehab and joined AA.
Phelps is now preparing for both the summer Olympic games in Rio as well as fatherhood (fiancée Nicole Johnson revealed in November 2015 that she is expecting their first child).
“If I’m going to come back, I need to do this the right way,” he told the Associated Press in August about returning to his top athletic form. “I’ve got to put my body in the best physical shape I can possibly get it in. Is it a challenge? No. I go to bed earlier. I sleep more. I wake up every day and have a completely clear head. I don’t feel like my head went through a brick wall. There are so many positives to it.”
Watch a preview of Wednesday’s interview on “Today” below.