Michelle Wolf took a break from insulting Ivanka Trump and complaining about politics on her Netflix show “The Break With Michelle Wolf” to complain about just about everything else, along with her former boss, Seth Meyers.
Wolf formerly worked as a writer for Meyers on “Late Night With Seth Meyers” before going on to do her own streaming late-night variety show with “The Break.” The two reunited for a segment of jokes called “How Dare You,” in which they tore into the minor irritations and annoyances of the world — things like the hotness of World Cup players, the fact that Jurassic Park still hasn’t figured out that dinosaurs can’t be trusted, and one another.
“James Dyson, inventor of the Dyson vacuum, how dare you!” Meyers said. “Your vacuum sucks! By which I mean it’s awesome, but it costs like $1,000. If I wanted to pay that much for something to suck that hard, I think you know where this joke is going.”
“And Dyson, how dare you make a vacuum that can handle pet hair, but has twice gotten clogged with my hair,” Wolf added. “And when I asked your customer service rep about it, they said, ‘Sorry, it doesn’t work with all types of dogs.'”
“How dare they deliver such a solid burn!” Meyers replied.
Meyers laid into “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” next, since the characters of those movies can’t seem to understand that “dinos will be dinos,” as he said, and can’t be expected to “take it easy this time.” Meanwhile, Wolf picked on “Jurassic World” star Bryce Dallas Howard for having two first names — “at least pick two that don’t make you sound like a wide receiver for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.”
The mock anger between the two late night hosts turned on each other next.
“How dare you, Michelle!” Meyers jokingly shouted. “How dare you enter the late night variety space. You know this is an already very crowded arena! How dare you think that you can do skits, desk segments and monologues, with an irreverent lampoonary of current events!”
Laughing, Wolf replied, “How dare you not step down and let me host ‘Late Night’ on NBC!”
“How dare your White House Correspondents Dinner performance get more views than mine on YouTube!” Meyers said. “It was great, by the way.”
As the pair of hosts ran out of jokes, they also slowly ran out of energy and finally commiserated about hosting their own shows, as Meyers noted it was his second show of the day and he was “f—ing exhausted.”
“Me too, you didn’t tell me how hard these were,” Wolf said.