‘Mother’s Day’ Review: Julia Roberts Grins and Bears Another Ghastly Garry Marshall Holiday-Com
Laugh-free and witless, this blandfest seemingly has no idea how human beings speak or behave (or what computers do)
Alonso Duralde | April 28, 2016 @ 10:55 AM
Last Updated: April 28, 2016 @ 1:15 PM
With “Valentine’s Day,” “New Year’s Eve” and now “Mother’s Day,” director Garry Marshall has officially become the worst thing to happen to holidays since “The Christmas Shoes.” The man who once brought “Love, American Style” and “Laverne and Shirley” to the small screen continues to operate with least-objectionable-programming in mind, making another movie that’s too innocuous to inspire actual rage yet too utterly tepid and bland to elicit a single laugh.
This is the sort of brightly-lit work where everyone from interior designers to struggling waitresses owns spacious, artfully cluttered homes with patios — mean divorced dads live in modernist blocks that resemble bank branch locations — and where suburbanites can fill their backyards with pricey party-store rentals at the drop of a hat. Throw in a Folgers Coffee can with the label turned to camera, and “Mother’s Day” would be a Hallmark Channel original movie.
(Fret not, though, fans of product placement — nearly every public space in this movie offers bottles of Fiji water and TVs tuned to the Home Shopping Network.)
While screenwriters Anya Kochoff Romano (“Monster-in-Law”), Matt Walker and Tom Hines dial the action down from the cast of dozens featured in Marshall’s previous assaults on the holidays, there are still enough characters to ensure every single one will be a cursory outline of a human being.
There’s divorced mom Sandy (Jennifer Aniston), whose friendly relationship with ex-husband Henry (Timothy Olyphant) hits a bump when he gets remarried to the much-younger Tina (Shay Mitchell, “Pretty Little Liars”); widowed Bradley (Jason Sudeikis), is unsure of how to cope with seeing his daughters through their first Mother’s Day since the death of their mom (Jennifer Garner) in Afghanistan; would-be comedian Zack (Jack Whitehall) wants to marry girlfriend and mother of his child Kristin (Britt Robertson), but she has unresolved issues over being given up for adoption by her birth mother, who turns out to be the staggeringly popular HSN host Miranda (Julia Roberts, sporting one of the worst wigs in the history of cinema — or the history of hair, for that matter); and sisters and neighbors Jesse (Kate Hudson) and Gabi (Sarah Chalke) have to ‘fess up about their relationships (Jesse is married to a person of color, Gabi to a woman) when their racist, homophobic mom Flo (Margo Martindale) pays them a visit.
It is no spoiler to reveal that every possible complication or difficulty in this movie resolves itself in the most pat, predictable and dully cheerful way possible, with lessons learned and hugs distributed. Along the way, we are assaulted by unfunny one-liners, groan-inducing slapstick, and a bevy of famous faces either phoning it in or being placed in outright embarrassing situations. Seeing the great Martindale grapple with material this weak is like witnessing a tagger being unleashed onto Mount Rushmore, and certainly someone with the comic chops and timing of Loni Love deserves better than to be subjected to pole-dancing jokes.
The film constantly reveals itself as having no idea how human beings speak or behave, whether it’s the completely contrived hi-jinks involving Jesse and Gabi trying to keep their secrets, Zack’s painfully inane stand-up, or the sad little cardboard diorama that supposedly successful designer Sandy brings with her on a go-see. (“Mother’s Day” seems clueless about what it is that computers actually do, apart from Skype.)
There was a moment early in his film career when movies like “The Flamingo Kid” and the underrated “Nothing in Common” suggested that Marshall might leave the banality of sitcoms behind and mature into a competent comedic director, but his recent output has all the zest of room-temperature oatmeal. Women everywhere deserve equal pay, maternity leave, unrestricted access to family planning, and far better movies about motherhood than “Mother’s Day.”
40 Actresses Over 40 Who Are Still Conquering Hollywood (Photos)
Amy Adams (born 1974)
Academy Award nominated Amy Adams is best known for roles in Disney's "Enchanted" and "Arrival." She most recently starred in Tom Ford's "Nocturnal Animals."
Cameron Diaz first made her mark in Hollywood with comedies like "There's Something About Mary" and "The Mask." She most recently starred alongside Will Smith in "Annie."
The two time Academy Award winning actress is best known for her role in "The Aviator." She has since starred in films like "The Lord of the Rings," "Babel," and "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." Blanchett will appear as the villain in the November blockbuster "Thor: Ragnarok
Zeta-Jones is best known for starring in "Intolerable Cruelty" and "Ocean's Twelve." She most recently starred as Olivia de Havilland in the FX limited series "Feud."
Famke Janssen is best known for playing Jean Grey in the "X-Men" film series. Recently she's had a recurring role on the TV series "How to Get Away With Murder" alongside Viola Davis and "The Blacklist"
Gabrielle Union first had her breakthrough role in the cult comedy "Bring it On." Since she's starred in films like "Think Like a Man," "Deliver Us From Eva," and "Bad Boys II." Most recently she's starred on BET's first scripted drama "Being Mary Jane."
Gwyneth Paltrow has been starring in notable Hollywood films since the early 90's and it doesn't look like she's slowing down any time soon. She's been a staple of the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Pepper Potts.
Academy Award winning actress Halle Berry was once one of the highest paid actress in Hollywood, and to date is the only black woman to win the Best Actress Oscar. She most recently starred in "Kingsman: The Golden Circle."
Helena Bonham Carter has starred in films like "Fight Club," "Hamlet," and the "Harry Potter" film series. She will also be playing a role in "Ocean's Eight."
Even though she's best known for playing Rachel on "Friends," Jennifer Aniston hasn't let that role define her entire career. She most recently starred in "The Yellow Birds," which premiered are Sundance.Â
Connelly made her debut in film with "Once Upon a Time in America." Since, she has starred in movies like "A Beautiful Mind" and "He's Just Not That Into You." Her upcoming projects include "Only the Brave" and "Alita: Battle Angel."
Jennifer Lopez is probably one of few actresses to have both a successful musical and acting career simultaneously. Lopez has starred in films like "The Wedding Planner" and "Monster in Law," her must recent project is "Ice Age: Collision Course."
Jodie Foster had her breakthrough role in "Taxi Driver." She also had roles in "Silence of the Lambs," "Contact" and "Panic Room," and is currently working on "Hotel Artemis." She's also sat in the director's chair several times, most recently with "Money Monster" and an episode of the upcoming season of "Black Mirror."
Quite possibly one of the best actresses of our time, Julia Roberts starred in films from "Pretty Woman to "Erin Brockovich" and has been cited as the highest paid actress in Hollywood for years. Her latest project is "Wonder," which will be released later this year.
Leslie Mann is most known for her roles in comedy films like "The Other Woman," and "Knocked Up." Her upcoming projects include "Blockers" and "The Women of Marwen."
Marisa Tomei had her breakthrough role in "My Cousin Vinny." Since, she's starred in films like "What Women Want" and "Anger Management." Recently she's taken on the role of Aunt May in "Spiderman: Homecoming" and "Captain America: Civil War."
This multi-hyphenate first garnered attention as Sookie in "Gilmore Girls." Since, she's played in notable films like "Bridesmaids" and "Ghostbusters." Her upcoming projects include "Life of the Party," "Can You Ever Forgive Me?," and "The HappyTime Murders." Not to mention her incredibly memorable turn as Sean Spicer on "SNL."
Meryl Streep currently holds the record for being the most nominated actor at the Oscars. She's starred in notable films since the 1970's and still has projects coming out next year like "Mary Poppins Returns."
Monica Bellucci is conquering both European and American film markets. She gained worldwide attention with films like "Brotherhood of the Wolf" and "Malèna" and the "Matrix" sequels. She was also the oldest woman to be cast as one of the Bond Girls. Bellucci most recently appeared in the 2017 "Twin Peaks" revival series.Â
Naomi Watts got her big break with David Lynch's "Mulholland Drive." Since then she's had roles in "You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger" and "The Ring." She most recently starred as Janey-E in "Twin Peaks."
Nia Long has had almost a lifetime of success in Hollywood. She starred in the 90's classics "Boyz n the Hood" and "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air." She currently appears on "NCIS: Los Angeles."
Nicole Kidman has won just about every major acting award out there and for good reason. She starred in "The Hours," "Rabbit Hole," and "The Others." She most recently appeared in the HBO hit "Big Little Lies."
Octavia Spencer only recently had her big break with her role in "The Help" in 2011 -- and she won an Oscar for it. Since, she's starred in "Fruitvale Station," "The Divergent" series, and "Hidden Figures." Her most recent projects include "The Gifted" and "A Kid Like Jake" which comes out in 2018.
This one doesn't even need any explanation. It's Oprah. But she will be starring in Ava DuVernay's "A Wrinkle in Time" which premieres in 2018. Plus she has an entire television network and produces "Queen Sugar."
Weisz is best known for her roles in "The Mummy" film series. She's also had roles in "About a Boy" and "Constantine." Her upcoming projects include "The Mercy" and "Favourite" which are both out in 2018.
Salma Hayek was a staple of 90s genre flicks like "Desperado," "The Faculty" and "Wild Wild West" before landing an Oscar nod for portraying Frida Kahlo in the film "Frida." She most recently starred in "The Hitman's Bodyguard."
Sanaa Lathan has starred in many cult classics like "Love & Basketball," "The Best Man," and "Brown Sugar." She currently stars in the TV series "Shots Fired."Â
Sandra Bullock has basically starred in all of our favorite movies from "Miss Congeniality" to "While You Were Sleeping" to "The Blind Side." She will be starring in the much anticipated film "Ocean's Eight" which is out in 2018.
Taraji broke out in "Baby Boy," and has garnered recognition for her roles in "Hustle and Flow" and 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." She most recently starred in "Hidden Figures" and rocks everybody's world as Cookie on "Empire."
Tilda Swinton is known for her roles in "The Chronicles of Narnia" film series and "The Deep End." She most recently starred in "Doctor Strange" and "Okja" and her voice talents will appear in 2018's "Isle of Dogs."
Tina Fey is best known for her comedic acts on "Saturday Night Live" and "30 Rock," but she's had great success on the big screen too. She's starred in hit movies like "Date Night" and "Baby Mama." She most recently starred in "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot."
Toni Collette received recognition for her role in "The Sixth Sense." Since, she's starred in "About a Boy" and "The Hours." She most recently starred in "Unlocked" and has a film coming out in 2018.
Vera Farmiga has had success with hits like the "Conjuring" movies and Best Picture-winner "The Departed," and landed an Oscar nomination for "Up in the Air." She currently has projects lined up until 2019.Â
Viola Davis has had minor roles in shows like "Law and Order" and movies like "Kate and Leopold," but it wasn't until her Oscar-nominated performance in "Doubt" that she began to receive the recognition she deserved. Since she's also garnered critical acclaim for her role in "Fences" and "The Help." She currently stars in ABC's hit series "How to Get Away With Murder."
1 of 40
From Amy Adams to scene-stealer Judi Dench, here are 40 actresses who aren’t letting four-plus decades slow down their career
Amy Adams (born 1974)
Academy Award nominated Amy Adams is best known for roles in Disney's "Enchanted" and "Arrival." She most recently starred in Tom Ford's "Nocturnal Animals."
There’s divorced mom Sandy (Jennifer Aniston), whose friendly relationship with ex-husband Henry (Timothy Olyphant) hits a bump when he gets remarried to the much-younger Tina (Shay Mitchell, “Pretty Little Liars”); widowed Bradley (Jason Sudeikis), is unsure of how to cope with seeing his daughters through their first Mother’s Day since the death of their mom (Jennifer Garner) in Afghanistan; would-be comedian Zack (Jack Whitehall) wants to marry girlfriend and mother of his child Kristin (Britt Robertson), but she has unresolved issues over being given up for adoption by her birth mother, who turns out to be the staggeringly popular HSN host Miranda (Julia Roberts, sporting one of the worst wigs in the history of cinema — or the history of hair, for that matter); and sisters and neighbors Jesse (Kate Hudson) and Gabi (Sarah Chalke) have to ‘fess up about their relationships (Jesse is married to a person of color, Gabi to a woman) when their racist, homophobic mom Flo (Margo Martindale) pays them a visit.
