Stephen Colbert Salvages Rejected Mother’s Day Cards, Like: ‘I’m Into Butt Stuff’ (Video)

Helper Pam gets a kick out of these — and a mimosa

Let this post serve as your final reminder to run out to CVS and get a Mother’s Day card for Mom. Yes, you can also pick up deodorant while you’re there.

On Thursday’s “Late Show,” host Stephen Colbert shared the “First Drafts” of some top-notch Hallmark work. He pulled Pam — a mom of two grown men — from the CBS studio audience to be his special helper. For her efforts, she got a mimosa — and a bit of embarrassment.

Some “First Drafts” included the following punchlines:
– “Kevin’s mom lets us smoke weed in the basement.”
– “I’m going to start calling you Linda.”
– And, “I’m slowly turning into you and it creeps me out when I look in the mirror.”

Then there was this lovely final draft: “Happy Mother’s Day … To the Mom I can talk to about anything.”

Here’s how that card originally read: “Happy Mother’s Day … I’m into butt stuff.”

Watch the video above to get all the first and final drafts. Happy Mother’s Day, moms!

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