‘Saturday Night Live’ Pre-Thanksgiving Episode With Host Cameron Diaz Was a Total Turkey (Video)

If you were hungry for humor, NBC’s “SNL” this week didn’t do much to satisfy your appetite

Last Updated: November 23, 2014 @ 10:38 AM

Apparently, the writers and cast members of NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” decided to go on a pre-Thanksgiving fast from humor.

Cameron Diaz hosted “SNL’s” last episode before Thanksgiving with musical guests Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson, and if viewers were looking for laughs, they were left pretty much famished.

The episode opened up with Diaz’s monologue, during which she declared, “It’s so exciting to be in Rockefeller Center when they light up the big turkey.”

The  clunky punchline turned out to be apt for an episode that turned out to be a huge turkey in the laughs department.

The monologue then went on see Diaz declaring that she was sick of answering press questions and opening up the floor to questions from audience members, only to be barraged with inane inquiries, one of which ending with the non-question, “I think you’re hot.”

Which was rich, given that the hottest thing about Diaz, at her top-dollar best, was Ben Stiller‘s semen in her hair. And that was 16 years ago.

It got worse from there.

The first skit of the evening was a supposed spoof on Diaz’s upcoming movie “Annie,” which features a mostly black cast in a big-screen version of the Broadway play. Daddy Warbucks shows up at the orphanage in search of “the black Annie” to adopt, only to be presented with a possibly Haitian, 43-year-old woman who “can still go all night,” has defended herself in court five times, did half a season in the WNBA and can palm a pumpkin “’cause I got some big-ass hands.” Huh?

The “Weekend Update” segment was similarly dreadful. The biggest story of the week, the barrage of sexual assault allegations against Bill Cosby, received all but a cursory appraisal, with newly installed co-anchor Michael Che delivering the best line of the segment when he declared, “Hey Bill Cosby, pull your damn pants up” — an apparent reference to Cosby’s infamous 2004 speech at an NAACP awards ceremony, during which he criticized aspects of African-American culture.

Other than that, “Weekend Update” was largely devoted to Charles Manson’s upcoming wedding and a lot of sexual innuendo about German chancellor Angela Merkel — big yawn.

Elsewhere, there was a spoof about the phone-sex industry — which is fitting enough, given that the phone-sex industry had its last gasp of relevance at about the same time that Diaz’s career did.

Look, we get it, “SNL”; everybody’s preoccupied with the holiday and pretty much phoning it in until then. But after dropping that hot mess on America’s plates, maybe you should forgo the turkey this Thanksgiving and swallow a bullet instead.

Watch Diaz’s monologue. And watch Weekend Update here.