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An Open Letter to ‘SYTYCDance’

I will be traveling “internationally” next week (OK, it’s just to Canada) and won’t be able to share my thoughts with you. You’re on your own for the “Flipping Out” premiere, but I’ll return just in time to dish about the long-awaited return of “Project Runway.”   Thank goodness I was still in town to […]

I will be traveling “internationally” next week (OK, it’s just to Canada) and won’t be able to share my thoughts with you. You’re on your own for the “Flipping Out” premiere, but I’ll return just in time to dish about the long-awaited return of “Project Runway.”
 
Thank goodness I was still in town to catch the finale of “So You Think You Can Dance!” Last night’s episode inspired me to write a letter to the producers. I’ve shared it with you below.

Dear “SYTYCD”:

I am writing to let you know how much I enjoyed last night’s finale. Your show has become my favorite dance-based reality show, even surpassing “Dancing With the Stars,” “Dance Your Ass Off” and “G-String Divas.” While I consider myself more qualified to couch-critique reality shows involving singing or chubby people, I feel I have some great ideas for your fall season!

First of all, while I was more than happy to devote four full hours to your finale this week, I feel that the episodes could have been condensed. Or perhaps you’re trying for more ratings and accolades? After all, an Emmy for Best Miniseries might be more impressive than those you’ve already won for Outstanding Choreography.

Speaking of time management, it seems like maybe you could’ve given the finalists more than 30 seconds each for their solo pieces. I know it sounds crazy, seeing as there were a whopping four of them and only four hours to devote to the finale, but it’s just an idea. I am no dancer.

Also, maybe you could take a few cues from your sister show, “American Idol.” Yes, the confetti shower at the end was nice and has been noted. But you know how “Idol” finales have singers ranging from Rod Stewart to Keith Urban? Well, instead of featuring tepid reprisals of the season’s best routines, I suggest performances by international dance superstars — if there is such a thing. Maybe Mario Lopez? You’d know better than I do.

While we’re on the subject of “Idol,” I have to mention the elephant in the room. Again, I am no dancer and you may argue that it would be exhausting to have two crazy ladies on the judges’ panel, but I think that it would really behoove you to offer Paula a permanent judging position. Trust me, viewers would tune in to listen to her undecipherable metaphors (riddles?) comparing contestants’ foxtrots, jives and “spirits” to cornflakes, moths and melons.

As for the results of your contest, flawless pirouettes aside, I must admit that I wasn’t exactly expecting Jeanine to take home the prize. That is, until I was deafened by the audience’s cheers for her. Oh, and when I read on Facebook that she had actually already won. Damn those East Coasters!

I understand that Ms. Mason earned $250,000 (which I think is less than Seacrest’s hourly rate) and the title of “America’s Favorite Dancer.” Maybe for next season you could also give an honorable mention award for “America’s Best Dancer.” If we were judging on technique, surely Kayla would’ve prevailed this year. Ironically, she placed last among the four finalists. (But why am I telling you that? You already know!)

Thank you for letting me share my suggestions with you. While I haven’t danced myself since that unfortunate Macarena incident back in ’95, I truly enjoy your show and will continue to watch whether you take me advice or not. (But, seriously, I think you should take it. Especially the part about Paula.)

Sincerely,
Jennifer Kelly

P.S. I would also like to see more sequins next season.

"BIG BROTHER 11" EVICTION
Ronnie’s departure last night was unfair to America, as he was the most underhanded and entertaining character on the show. His final speech itself was enough to keep him around: “My wife has told me you always have to try and see the good in everyone. There’s so much good in all of you … except for you, Michele.”

Besides, Lydia should’ve been evicted solely on her eye makeup! How can the other houseguests trust someone who resembles criminal mastermind The Hamburglar?

(Seriously, look it up. It’s a must see!)

Chima now (thinks she) has control of the house. (But we know that Jeff, winner of the Coup D’Etat, is REALLY pulling the strings.)

Watch and see.